To Forget About You, I Took A Chance
by Doomedphsyx2030
Summary: James forgets everything Kendall has done for him, including getting him famous by sacrificing his dreams for the one he loves. To forget James, Kendall takes a chance and goes out with Jo Taylor, but the relationship soon becomes abusive, and Kendall's stuck. Will James save Kendall? Or will Jo make Kendall do something drastic?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The idea for this fanfic came to me while I was on YouTube watching someone's video. And don't worry, I will put up another chapter of 'A Rose Between Four Thorns' soon, probably tomorrow! But I just couldn't resist putting this new story up. So, please enjoy and review

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Kendall's p.o.v

He could only watch as Jo raised her hand to slam it down onto his cheek for what seemed like the tenth time today, his cheek already red and stinging from the slaps, his arms remaining at his sides, pinned there so he didn't lash out at Jo. Her face was twisted in anger, her forehead creasing with the anger, but the slap never came, instead, a harsh sneer rose from her lips

"You know what?" Jo sneered, balling up her fist and slamming it down hard at Kendall's temple, but he barely moved against her hand. He was slowly getting used to the abuse, his body slowly becoming numb to the pain of both Jo's fists and words, but they both still stung him deeply, enough for him to feel horrible about himself, because a part of him believed what Jo was saying. She always said that he was a waste of space, a ugly bastard that didn't deserve anything he got, and he took those words to heart, because he felt useless himself, getting into an abusive relationship in the first place, not recognising the signs. He didn't deserve fame, because it was James' dream, and he walked all over Kendall to get there, forgetting everything he did for him in a matter of days after arriving at the Palm Woods. So immediately he shoved his feelings for James aside, with a lot of effort, and took his chance with Jo, only to be stuck here, on his knees as Jo loomed over him, slapping and kicking him around like he was nothing less of a piece of shit on her shoe

"Useless" Jo hissed as she kicked Kendall in his stomach, sending him crashing to the floor breathless, clutching at his abdomen and trying to get his breath back "you can go back home, I've had enough" Jo walked away, her chin up to the ceiling, leaving Kendall alone with his thoughts as he tried to catch his breath. Tears threatened to leak from his eyes, but he willed them back, refusing to let Jo see how much she was hurting him

"I'm not useless" Kendall whispered to himself, a low rumble in the back of his throat as he spoke the words, his eyes remaining downcast because he didn't dare to look Jo in the eyes and say the words. His courage had fallen drastically after Jo had first hit him

_Flashback_

_He kissed Jo lightly on the lips with no warning, keeping them held against hers, that was until he felt a sharp sting at his cheek. As soon as he felt the sting, he had backed away from Jo, watching as her eyes flashed dangerously, her lip up in a sneer_

_"Don't ever do that again" she hissed low in her throat, looking around to see if anyone had seen her slapping him, but no one had walked past_

That had been the first time that Jo had hit him, but he shrugged it off as Jo defending herself because he had kissed her without any notice, but his instinct had been wrong. Since Kendall had not spoken up about Jo hitting him, the hitting only got worse, and each time was worse than the last, until he finally had to come to Jo's apartment so she could take her anger out on him. He expected Jo to apologise immediately about slapping him, but no words were spoken, and Kendall had to force his mind to remember that Jo still loved him, or so he wanted to believe the words. A door slammed in the room and Kendall flinched, raising his hands to cover his face away from Jo's blows, but they never came, and Kendall let go of the breath he had been holding, letting his arms fall limply to the floor, his knuckles scraping across the carpet. There was a small splash as his hand hit the floor, but Kendall could already guess it was blood, from where? He didn't know. Often Jo abused him hard enough to draw blood from his lip or nose, but not enough to break, because she didn't want to give any evidence that she was abusing him, to keep it a secret and keep her lovely side to herself as an act. His nose throbbed, and Kendall immediately knew that Jo had hit him hard in the face, because his vision clouded over for a second before clearing, and that was when he noticed Jo looming over him, her foot raised for another attack

_"She must have hit me while I was thinking"_ Kendall thought to himself, raising his eyes so they were staring at Jo's

"Get out of my apartment!" she screeched through gritted teeth at Kendall "before my father comes back"

* * *

Kendall had managed to stumble out of Jo's apartment with as much dignity as he had left to keep his head high, but Kendall didn't know what time it was or if he was going the right way back to his own apartment. His vision was blurring dangerously, making the room spin and tip as he tried to remain on his feet and not sag against a wall and fall asleep. But one thought kept him awake as he wiped his nose for the third time with his sleeve to stop his nosebleed, one single urge that he had gained while in the abusive relationship with Jo, to help him with the pain. He tried not to crash into the door, slowly opening it and stepping through before the door creaked, giving Kendall away. It was silent in the apartment, all the lights turned off, keeping the apartment in pitched blackness, just what Kendall wanted. If anyone came out of one of the rooms, the darkness would keep him covered, keep the bruises and blood pooling on his bottom lip from being shown to the person. Kendall quickly moved to the bathroom, the door slipping from his fingers as he shoved at the door, slamming the wood back against the frame. He flinched as the door slammed, his hands, almost like a reflex of the abuse, moved at the speed of lightning to cover his face

"Kendall, that you dude?" James' voice was groggy from sleep, but he banged on the door for Kendall's attention, but Kendall flinched, almost slipping on the tiles as he reached for the glass cabinet. His fingers almost withdrew from the glass, but Kendall forced himself to continue

"Yeah, just needed the bathroom" Kendall called back after finally realising that James had shouted at him. James' footsteps descended from the door, but Kendall felt hurt blossom through his chest, because James had not bothered to ask him if he was alright, and the hurt was much worse than the pain he was currently feeling. Kendall's fingers were brushing against a black bag in the cabinet, the medicine bag that he also kept his extra razors in, the fabric rough under his fingertips. He quickly dragged the bag out, throwing out most of the medicine until he found a small, pocket sized tin rattling inside the bag from Kendall's furious decent in the bag. The small tin was cold against his fingers as Kendall pulled at the lid with all his strength, until a small popping sound came from the tin. The razors rattled against the sides of the tin, until Kendall took a single small razor blade from the tin, throwing the rest to the side, ignoring the dull clank of the tin hitting something in the bathroom. His full focus was on the blade, twisting it in his fingers and contemplating to himself if he should go through with what he was about to do, the blade shining in the dull light of the bathroom. But he remembered everything in his life, the abuse he was going through alone with Jo, no one noticing the bruises he kept hidden. The way James had turned his back on him even though he had given up his dream up for James, the way he would completely ignore Kendall one day, then be all over him the next. It stung to be simply thrown away by James, to only be useful to him when they were writing songs, and it stung Kendall more and more about the relationship he had gotten himself in to. Kendall made up his mind, slowly, piece by piece, he removed the bangs from his wrists and, with unsteady hands, he braced the blade over the skin of his wrist . . .

. . .And began to cut

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Ooookay! So, I hope you enjoyed this story so far, and just to let you know, its not a one-shot like my other story 'Vicious talons of the past'

So, if it's not too much to ask, please review and tell me what you think

DoomedPhsyx2030


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait for the second chapter, but I've been swamped with my new work! If you read my other fanfic 'A Rose Between Four Thorns' I explained in that one too, but this is an extra warning. I don't know what hours I will be doing in my new job, so please be patient with me, I'm really sorry :s

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Kendall's p.o.v

He cut until his arms were bloody, the blood pouring from the open wounds and dripping from his wrists in a red river. Kendall had used his left hand while cutting his right arm, the cuts, when he tried to wipe away the blood, were jagged and rough underneath his fingertips, but Kendall didn't care. He felt the need to cut more, because it never made him feel any different, only worse

_"I'm not useless"_ Kendall mumbled, repeating what Jo said to him before she practically threw him out of her apartment hut and bruised. Kendall tried to force his mind to keep repeating to himself that he still loved Jo, and she felt the same way, even though it was hurting him both inside and out. But the thing that hurt the most was the complete oblivious feeling that his brothers gave him, especially James. They should have noticed the chance in Kendall! The way he would flinch if someone touched him, the horrified look that shot in his eyes when he saw Jo, but would they notice the long sleeved shirts that he would be wearing to hide the scars on his wrists?

"Probably not" Kendall thought to himself sullenly, the blade suddenly back in his hands as he thought of the depressing memories, and no matter how much he tried to throw it away, it was like the blade was stuck to his hand with superglue. He switched the blade to his right hand this time, the blade slipping slightly against his fingers because they were coated in blood, but he tightened his grip on the blade, pressing the sharpened tip against the side of his wrist ready to cut, but a loud crash against the door made the blade slip against his arm. The blade slid across the top of his wrist as the banging got more and more ferocious, words muffled behind the wood

"Kendall! Hurry up!" Carlos whined as he continued to hit the door in an desperate attempt for Kendall to open the door, and Kendall could imagine Carlos jumping up and down on the balls of his feet, holding himself

"I'll be a minute" Kendall yelled back, quickly slamming the heel of his hand at the taps to turn them on, the water gushing out of the tap and splashing up Kendall's arm and over his shirt, but he didn't care. The water soon turned hot as Kendall forced himself to quickly run his wrist under the water, washing the blood away in a frantic hurry. The water soon turned red as Kendall held his wrist to keep it under the spray of hot water, but the pain from the hot water made Kendall hiss, trying to pull back from the water. Carlos' voice was becoming more and more frantic as Kendall hit the tap to turn off the water, reaching out with his other hand to unlock the door for Carlos, his hand going for the handle. But Carlos didn't wait for Kendall to open the door, he crashed through it, knocking Kendall back against the sink, a small hiss escaping from his lips, but it was ignored by Carlos

"Oooooh that's better" Carlos moaned as he emptied his bladder in the toilet, Kendall turned towards the sink trying to ignore the sounds coming from his mouth

"What are you doing?" Carlos spoke as he gently pushed Kendall to the side to wash his hands, his gaze staring at Kendall as he turned the taps. Kendall couldn't react, because in the corner of his eye, he noticed a small trail of blood still making its way down the sink slowly, and if he didn't catch Carlos' attention, he would look down at the sink and notice the blood

"I was just getting ready to get into the shower" Kendall lied easily through his teeth as his wrists pulsed in pain

"But you've been in here for almost an hour, and its four in the morning" Carlos stated, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion "that means you've been with Jo all night?" Carlos questioned, and Kendall was having a hard time not flinching at the name. He kept his gaze straight on Carlos, who was rubbing his hands together in the hot water, but Kendall took a sneaky look into the sink, noticing the blood almost all the way down the sink

"Y-Yeah, I've been there all night" Kendall spoke, flinching after listening to himself stutter like an idiot. He ran his fingers through his hair, messing up his already messy hair, but as Kendall gazed up towards Carlos through his fringe, Kendall noticed the smug smile littering Carlos' whole face, almost splitting his face in half

"You dog!" Carlos yelled loudly, punching Kendall hard at the shoulder with his wet hand, the water soaking through his shirt quickly. Carlos completely missed how Kendall flinched violently at the punch, only staring into his eyes

"W-What?" Kendall questioned, rubbing his shoulder with his right hand, trying to hide his left behind his back away from Carlos' field of vision

"You slept with Jo! That's why you're so late getting back!" Carlos often jumped to conclusions, and this was the worst one yet, because Kendall couldn't help but freeze up with the accusation, but Carlos never noticed. All he did was throw his hands up in excitement, too close to Kendall as he caught him in the mouth with one of his flying arms, sending him flying to the floor. A high pitched squeal echoed around the bathroom as Carlos let out the squeal out, his knees smashing to the floor as he collapsed next to Kendall, trying to pull his arms away from his mouth to inspect the damage. At first Kendall wanted to pull away from Carlos and scream at him not to touch him, because that would have been the reaction towards Jo, but Kendall had to remind himself that it was not Jo he was talking to. Carlos was his brother, his older brother who would have done anything to make sure that nothing happened to Kendall, even though everyone thought of Kendall as the 'unofficial leader' in Big Time Rush

"I'm fine Carlos" Kendall spoke eventually, moving his hands from around his mouth and noticing small splats of blood on his palms, but it was the horrified look on Carlos' face that made Kendall's heart twist in his chest. The large doe brown eyes were wide, the pupils dilated with the horror Carlos was feeling

"A-Are you sure?" Carlos' voice was small like a child's, it was almost a squeak. Kendall desperately wanted to tell Carlos everything that was happening, but he couldn't, because then it would show how fragile Kendall really was

"I'm fine Carlos, look" Kendall simply wiped the blood from his lip, not flinching as he did it, but Carlos still looked small just sitting there and watching Kendall. But Kendall pretended everything was okay, forcing a big, goofy grin on his face and hitting Carlos just as hard in the shoulder as he had done before. He got to his feet, lending a hand to help Carlos up from the floor, but Carlos stayed on the floor, tears threatening to leak out of his brown eyes, and it made Kendall's heart twist again

"I-I'm so sorry" Carlos sobbed into his hands, his shoulder heaving with the heavy sobbing. Kendall reacted quickly, collecting Carlos into a hug and whispering about how everything was okay with what happened, rocking him in his arms

"Carlos!" James screamed high pitched in panic, crashing through the door and knocking Kendall off to the side, completely ignoring him as James swooped in and brought Carlos into a hug. At the shove, Kendall had felt anger swarm in his body towards James, because he ignored Kendall while he was trying to comfort Carlos, and now, as expected, James turned his body slightly towards Kendall, giving him an intense glare as he kept rocking Carlos in his arms

"What happened?" James snarled, shifting Carlos in his arms so he could point at Kendall with an accusing finger, his upper lip in a snarl

"Carlos accidentally hit me while we were talking" Kendall spoke, shrugging his shoulders and telling James the truth, but it was like James never believed him, and he didn't even need James to open his mouth, the look in the hazel eyes was enough for Kendall to go off. The hazel eyes were narrowed in disbelief, a cruel but smug smile on his face as he stared at Kendall

"Yeah sure" James scoffed "where's the blood?" James smugly pointed out, but as Carlos tried to speak, James butted in "I think you said something to him" James snarled, pushing Carlos gently away to square up to Kendall, who was desperately trying to hide the tears threatening to spill from his eyes

"I didn't hit him" Kendall snarled back, taking a step towards James in a threatening way, gritting his teeth and trying to stop himself from saying anything else

"Say you're sorry" James spoke, venom dripping from his words

"No, because I didn't do anything!" Kendall yelled, pushing James to the side as he stomped through the apartment and out of the door

* * *

Carlos' p.o.v

Carlos lunged towards James as soon as Kendall had stomped out of the door, the front door slamming shut loud in the apartment, but it never stopped Carlos. His fist hit James' cheek hard, making him stumble back into the sink, a cross but agitated look flashing briefly across his face . James rubbed the sore spot on his cheek

"Dude" James muttered, but as soon as James saw the angry look in the usually happy Carlos' face, his smile fell from his face

"What the hell do you think you were doing! Kendall didn't upset me, he was making me feel better considering that I was the one that hit Kendall! Accidentally of course!" Carlos shouted in a childish voice, stomping his foot and pouting as he glared at James, watching as James' facial never changing

"Sure Carlos" James laughed, but Carlos hit James again at the same spot, and James' bellow of a scream was loud in the apartment, just like the door slamming because of Kendall moments ago. Carlos flinched after remembering, but James didn't seem to notice

"OW!"

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Kendall's p.o.v

As he walked to the lobby, Kendall's thoughts were slowly drifting to Jo because of their 'date' today. Kendall was not looking forwards to the date, because all he could think about was the accusation of what had happened last night with Jo, because he really had spent most of the night in her apartment, but not sleeping together. It was more like she was beating the crap out of Kendall, just because she didn't like him. Kendall had a feeling that things were going to get worse, because Jo would be coming back from a audition, and depending on how it went depended on how badly Kendall got beaten up by his girlfriend. Someone barged into him, bashing into his shoulder and almost knocking him off balance if a pair of arms had not caught him, but the grip was tight, and Kendall knew immediately who had caught him. Almost like a reflex, Kendall flinched in the grip, but there was a small, emotionless chuckle from the person

"Hey Kenny" Jo whispered harshly in Kendall's ear, but he tried to flinch back as much as he could away from Jo, but not make it look as if he was trying to get away from her. The fake smile he trained himself to pull was immediately on his face as he stared into Jo's emotionless blue eyes staring into his green ones. Jo sort of looked pleased, but her face was beat red and gaining more colour the more she looked at Kendall

"How did everything go?" Kendall asked, his voice strained for the answer

"No too good, I didn't get the part" Jo put bluntly, shrugging her shoulders and giving Kendall a twisted smile that he knew meant trouble. He had found out that he needed to learn Jo's emotions and facial expressions, even though she didn't make it obvious that she was angry, Kendall soon learnt

"W-What about the date?" Kendall whispered as if he was telling a big secret, or trying to keep one in his case, but Jo's eyes turned dark, the smile back on her face

"Oh, I've got something better planned. But that can wait, come on" Jo spoke as she dragged Kendall back upstairs to her apartment, nodding and smiling to a few people as she walked. Kendall even noticed Jo wink at Guitar Dude from the corner of his eye, and his heart plunged down past his feet when Guitar Dude winked back, licking his lips and scanning his eyes over Jo's body. She paused in the hallway, glaring at Kendall

"Go to the apartment. I'll be there after I speak to Guitar Dude" Jo hissed, pushing Kendall hard down the corridor

"Sorry man" Guitar Dude shrugged

* * *

Jo's p.o.v

She never felt any remorse of guilt when she sent Kendall away to speak to Guitar Dude, never taking a glance behind her to see if he was making his way to the apartment. If she caught Kendall just standing there, a blank look on his face and watching, Jo would punish him dearly

"I feel kind of bad about Kendall-dude. I mean, are you not in a relationship with him, but sleeping with me?" Guitar Dude asked in that stupid voice Jo really hated, but of course, she hated Kendall even more and this was a perfect way to break Kendall like no one ever had

"Oh no need sweetheart" Jo cooed seductively in Guitar Dude's ear, making him shiver in delight. Guitar Dude's eyes met Jo's, and he leaned in to kiss Jo on the lips. But Jo saw someone walking past as she jumped back from Guitar Dude, giving him a friendly smile, but a seductive look in her eyes. She pulled a note from her pocket, one she had scribbled earlier when she didn't get the audition, slipping it into Guitar Dude's hand when she walked past, looking behind her and winking at him, but she stopped when she noticed Kendall standing there, his face pale and a haunted look in his eyes from what he just saw. But instead of feeling guilty, Jo felt a small smile stretching her lips

"Well, time to punish you" Jo snarled, her hands reaching towards Kendall and dragging him inside the apartment by his shirt, pushing him to the floor and slamming open the door

"Jo" Kendall whispered in a baby voice, making Jo roll her eyes and kick him in the gut to send him back to the floor with a childish grunt to Jo's ears. She hated Kendall with every fibre of her body ever since he came to the Palm Woods to become famous. The one she wanted was James, but of course he was too full of himself to notice that Jo wanted him, but she was forced to settle with Kendall, the stupidest looking one of the lot of Big Time Rush

"Oh shut up. I never loved you, you should know that" Jo snarled as she walked towards Kendall, her shadow hovering over Kendall's small looking form underneath her as she bent down, giving Kendall a threatening smile


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Well people, I loved your reviews about Jo :) Thank you so much for reviewing, and I'm hoping you are enjoying my story so far? Please keep reviewing and reading. Here's the next chapter!

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Kendall's p.o.v

People still didn't notice Kendall, and his hopes of his relationship with Jo being discovered were growing slimmer and slimmer as the days went on, because now Kendall was sitting at the dining table with his friends and family, Jo by his side eating casually as if nothing was wrong with them. Her eyes kept glancing over at Kendall, her eyes going cold as soon as Kendall's green eyes lifted to stare into hers, but they immediately went warm and soft when someone else looked towards them. Jo's hand had grasped Kendall underneath the table, lacing her fingers through Kendall's but tightly, her nails digging into the flesh of the top of his hand and Kendall managed to not flinch at the pain

"Kendall sweetie, you not hungry?" Jo's sickly sweet voice he had not heard in a long time broke him out of his trance, the concern in her voice making Kendall react, not in wonder, but in horror to wonder what she would do if he didn't answer

"I'm alright, just savouring the taste" Kendall lied easily through his teeth, refusing to look Jo in the eyes even though she asked the question, his gaze remained on his plate, where he continued to push the food around on the plate with his fork. That seemed to satisfy everyone as Kendall looked at them through his fringe, but a pair of lips brushed against Kendall's ear, and he automatically flinched away from the lips, but a hand was knotted in his hair, refusing him to move away from the pair of lips

"You shouldn't eat so much sweetie. You're getting fat" Jo whispered harshly in Kendall's ear, but made it low enough so Kendall really had to strain his hearing to be able to hear what she was saying. The words Jo spoke hit Kendall like a sharp slap to the face and his gut, exhaling harshly to try to prevent himself from throwing up right then at the table. He tried not to swing his head to look at Jo, to give away the harsh words that she had just spoken about Kendall, but instead of looking at Jo, Kendall found himself looking down at his stomach and feeling tears burning at his eyes. What Kendall saw was his stomach hanging over his jeans in a disgusting way, a large lump appearing through his shirt, it disgusted Kendall. The fork dropped from his numb fingers, clattering to the table with a metallic ring

"Kendall?" Mama Knight spoke, horror lacing her voice as she shot to Kendall's side, her hands cupping Kendall's cheek in her hands

"I'm okay mum" Kendall croaked out, giving a weak smile but never looking in Jo's direction once. He immediately tried to pick up his fork, but Jo's words kept stinging him in the chest, the fork dangerously close to dropping from his hands, but he gripped it tightly, his knuckles turning white with the stain. His mum left his side, her brown eyes still glaring at him as he tried to react naturally, shoving food into his mouth and swallowing the food without tasting it. The food had no taste as he aimlessly chewed the food around in his mouth, never taking his eyes from his plate as he literally shoved the food into his gob, ignoring the low growls from his left side

"Have you finished?" Mama Knight spoke directly in Kendall's ear, and he swallowed the food he had in his mouth hard, the sound disgusting to his ears, dreading the things Jo would come up with when they were alone. The clinking of the plates never broke Kendall out of his own thoughts, horror slowly making him want to run to the bathroom to throw up everything in his stomach, but he just kept swallowing hard, remaining at the table

"Who wants to watch a movie?" Carlos' childish voice screamed, holding up a dvd that Kendall couldn't see the name of, but he guessed it was a Disney film, which Carlos loved, and Jo hated. But she smiled happily as she nodded furiously to Carlos, who jumped up in excitement, almost knocking over the table to get to the dvd player, pressing frantically at the buttons when they didn't react fast enough. Kendall had to stand in and pull Carlos from the player, taking the dvd as James guided Carlos to the sofa, forcing him to sit next to him as Kendall put in the dvd. Kendall forced himself to sit next to Jo, who immediately snuggled into Kendall's side, hooking her arm around Kendall's

"Act normal" Jo hissed in Kendall's ear as she stuck her head into the crook of his neck, probably so she could whisper harsh words into his ear like she had at the dinner table. The lights were as low as they possible could be, the only main source of light from the television. No one was sitting close to Kendall, which meant that they wouldn't be able to hear the words that Jo would whisper into his ear. He never paid any attention to the screen nor the film being played, because Jo was moving around to make herself more comfortable, but he knew she was only trying to get into a better position to whisper the harsh words

"You need to lose some weight" Jo whispered as she took the bowl of popcorn from Kendall's hand as James passed it to him, but James never noticed, only smirking at Kendall as Jo stuffed popcorn into her mouth, chewing loudly to annoy Kendall

"I'm fine" Kendall whispered back harshly, taking the bowl from Jo's grasp and taking a handful of the popcorn, popping one in his mouth before Jo could stop him. Her eyes, when Kendall dared to look, were filled with pure anger that Kendall did not like seeing. He could tell that she wanted to hurt Kendall right now, because her hand crept to Kendall's knee, squeezing it hard and digging her nails into his flesh

"You will pay for that insult" Jo snarled, the words practically filling with venom as she spat the words, but Kendall flinched

"I-I'm sorry" Kendall stuttered, trying to get Jo to settle back into his side, but she only smirked harshly, shaking her head and leaning back into the cushions, her hand removed from his knee

"Not good enough Kendall Knight" she spoke, standing up and taking Kendall's hand as she stood, nodding to the others as she walked past, dragging Kendall with her. Kendall felt someone nudge him as he walked past, and he barely had time to turn around to see Carlos waving and winking at his as he walked out of the door

* * *

Jo's p.o.v

She was beyond angry at Kendall, because he refused to do something for her, and now he was going to pay for that, she would make sure. She was walking back to her apartment blind with anger, but she knew the way back without actually seeing the way, because she had done this walk a lot. The door slammed against the wall as she harshly pushed the door in her anger, pushing Kendall inside and kicking him behind his knee to make him fall to the floor, slamming the door as he fell. He looked pathetic as he looked back towards her, his emerald green eyes looking sorry, but Jo didn't care

"You shouldn't talk back to me. Especially around those 'brothers' of yours" Jo hissed, raising her foot to smash it into Kendall's face, not bothering when he gave off a gut-wrenching cry of pain

"W-What do you mean 'brothers'?" Kendall spat, spitting on the floor and glaring up at Jo

"You really think they are your brothers? They don't care about you Kendall, even I can see that. You really are pathetic" Jo spat, kicking Kendall in the ribs, sending him to the floor in a heap, clutching at his stomach with his right hand

"T-They are my brothers" Kendall stuttered, but Jo only laughed and watched as he flinched as the spiteful laugh penetrated the air

"No they are not" Jo spoke softly, watching as Kendall looked up at her with those emerald eyes that were meant to soften her, but it only made her more angry, furiously angry "why would they care about you Kendall? You're a pathetic excuse for a human being! Being pushed around by a girl! How idiotic can you get Kendall?" Jo hissed, grabbing Kendall by his hair and yanking him to his feet, ignoring the small grunt of pain that escaped his lips, her hands tightening on the golden locks

"I'm not pathetic" Kendall hissed through gritted teeth, trying to shake Jo's hand out of his hair, but she slapped him hard in the face

"Yes you are!" Jo roared, pushing Kendall to the floor and straddling his hips, hitting, scratching and slapping his face or any part of his body she could reach, and Kendall pathetically tried to protect himself from her blows, but it was useless. Soon his face was red and bruised from Jo's hands and nails, easily seen because his face had lost all of its colour while she had been hitting him, but she felt no remorse from hitting him, only more anger. Soon she began to take her anger out on him for the smallest things, but still she felt nothing by doing it, only seeing a pathetic seventeen year old boy under her, letting a small girl like her hit him and abuse him. In her mind, she wanted to toughen him up more, that's the excuse she always gave herself once a day when she abused Kendall

"I-I'm sorry" Kendall apologised in a small voice, his words muffled by blood filling his mouth from her blows, but she only slapped him again for talking back to her

"I don't care Kendall" she hissed, leaning close to Kendall's face and biting his neck hard as he screamed in pain, but never made a move to try to get Jo off him. Her hands travelled to his belt on his jeans, fiddling with the belt as she kissed Kendall down his neck. He froze on the spot, a small whine escaping his mouth, his eyes, when Jo looked into them, looked horrified because he almost knew what she was going to do, but her hands left his belt

"That would be too easy" Jo whispered soothingly in Kendall's ear, lifting herself from Kendall's chest and leaving him on the floor

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

His heart finally calmed down enough to make sure that he didn't throw up right then on Jo's carpet, giving her another excuse to beat him up on her floor. He kept swallowing hard, a million thoughts running through his head as he lay on the floor, fiddling with a strand of carpet. How ugly did he look to have Jo constantly abusing him? How fat was he really? Because, right now, he felt like he weighed one hundred pounds, even though as he looked down at his stomach, it lay flat because his shirt had riled up during her abusing him. Kendall could only see fat

"I-I" Kendall started to speak, but tears were streaming down his face as he pinched the fat of his stomach in his fingers, another wave of disgust crashing over him as the tears wouldn't stop. He slowly picked himself up from the floor, flinching in pain as he stood, jarring his ribs as he did. Subconsciously, because he felt a pair of eyes burning holes in his back, he watched Jo staring at him as he tried to get out of the room, ignoring her eyes watching him. He slammed the door closed, almost wanting to slide down the door in a heap bawling his eyes out, but instead he buried his emotions deeply inside himself, closing them off and ignoring his heart literally breaking inside of his chest. Kendall didn't know where his feet were taking him, but as soon as his mind cleared enough for his mind to catch up with him, Kendall found himself outside, the chill of the air not phasing him at all. Even when the wind forced his hair into his eyes, he still didn't seem phased at all, the hurt still crashing down on him

"I'm too fat" Kendall whispered to himself sullenly, his eyes downcast and glazed over as he thought back to what Jo had said to him. She told him that he was too fat, a ugly excuse for a human being, and he believed each word she spoke, because Kendall loved Jo even though she hated his guts. No one told him other wise that he was not ugly, not trying to sooth his feelings in any way, because they were oblivious to how Jo was treating him, not seeing the change in him when he needed his brothers the most. His feet moved fast without his mind fully in control with what was happening, his brain foggy with emotions and hate rid for his own body as he walked to the Palm Woods gym, his hands moving to push the glass door open before he realised it. A large built man squared up to Kendall, his chest puffed out to prove his masculinity

"Hey there bro" the man spoke in a gruff voice, pushing Kendall towards a machine without him actually speaking

"I-I err" Kendall tried to speak, to communicate with the huge man, but he started to explain a huge amount of information that he probably only understood. As he explained, Kendall dared a look at the huge man, noticing a blond mop of hair that was shaved short against his head, his muscles almost bursting through his purple tank top

"bro you are huge!" he exclaimed loudly, slapping his hands over his cheeks when his eyes scanned Kendall's figure. He felt his cheeks glowing red, not from the man touching him, as the man grabbed his wrist, hauling him to a machine and practically throwing him onto the leather seat. He never felt so much shame pour into his body as the man in front of him constantly talked to him, but the need to exercise was becoming greater inside Kendall as he tried to listen to the man speaking

"I'm not that bad am I?" Kendall questioned to the man, keeping his voice low so no one else heard him, but he almost expected the man to burst out laughing and spit words in his face because he deserved it

"You ain't terrible brother, just need a lot of trimming" he spoke, trying to keep his own voice low in the room, bright blue eyes meeting hurt emerald

"T-Then help me, please" Kendall didn't like to bed, but in this situation, he was desperate for someone to make him better. The man smiled towards Kendall, showing all of his teeth

"My name's Joe, and I'll be your personal trainer" Joe smiled as Kendall gulped

* * *

A few hours later, Kendall stumbled back to the apartment with his legs almost collapsing underneath him as he walked, because Joe pushed him to his limit's the first ever time that he went to a gym in years. He could barely lift a large amount of weights, but deep thoughts inside his mind forced him to keep trying, because he was trying to become a better person for his girlfriend

"Kendall Francis Knight where the hell have you been!" Mama Knight screamed in a loud, booming voice almost like Gustavo's, but his mother's was much worse. She was standing in the middle of the room in her pyjamas, her arms crossed over her chest, her auburn hair tied in a messy ponytail, but she had a stern look on her face, making Kendall flinch and try to keep his eyes glued to her angry brown ones

"I-I went to the gym" Kendall whispered like it was a dirty word, but coughed to pretend that he didn't just have a weak moment. He lifted his arms to show his mum the sweat stains under his arms, but her face never changed from the stern one, instead she only looked angry

"I've been worried about you all night, especially when the boys told me that you and Jo went to her apartment. But when I asked Logan to go and get you, Jo said that you left" Mama Knight's voice went cold, but it was towards Kendall and not anyone else

"Mama please" Kendall whined, trying to get the conversation done quickly because he was so sweaty from the gym, but his mum didn't look like she was going to back down any time soon

"Why on earth did you go to the gym at this time of night? You don't need to go to the gym, you're fine" Mama Knight's tone had softened drastically when she spoke those words, like somehow she noticed the change in her son, but Kendall didn't believe any words that she spoke, because he had already made up his mind about the situation. Lots of people now had told him that he was ugly, or needed to lose weight, it was still time for his 'brothers' to speak the words that would wound Kendall further

"I'm just making sure that I don't gain too much weight" Kendall spoke in his most confident voice, staring into his mothers eyes and refusing to back down

"Don't overdue it please Kendall" Mama Knight whispered, walking forward and kissing him on his forehead before moving back to her room, glancing back at Kendall

"I won't" Kendall whispered low in his throat as he walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him, sliding down the door and landing heavily on the tiled floor, his head in his hands. He felt pathetic, and it didn't help that he was tired and sweaty, only sitting on the floor wanting to reach for the razor in the black bag he kept in there. He stood up suddenly, stripping his clothing away from his body until he was only in his boxers, reaching across to the shower to turn it on, then standing in front of the mirror looking at the glass throwing his reflection back at him. He looked a mess, his blond hair sticking to his forehead with a sheen of sweat covering his face, clear in the mirror because of the light. But he looked down to his stomach, still seeing it bulging over his jeans, pinching his stomach with his fingers and thinking that he grabbed a huge amount. He needed to go to the gym more times to get rid of the weight, to make himself perfect like his friend James. James had everything that Kendall wanted at the moment, looks, a brilliant smile, lovely glossy hair, not this stupid cut he had done ages ago. Kendall brushed his fingers through his hair, messing it up more, but at the moment he didn't care, because he found himself going for the glass cabinet and picking up the black bag he thought of moments ago, pulling out everything until he got to the small tin that he kept his razors in. They clunked against the sides, but Kendall didn't care, only carefully taking one out and throwing the rest away, he only stepped into the warm stream of the water, the razor ready in his hands. The red hot water gushed over his achy body, but he never felt pain from the water, only staring down at the razor in his wet hands, thinking if this was the right thing to do. But the more Kendall thought about it, the more this option was the only way, to him, to get rid of the horrible pain that wouldn't go away, and with that final thought, Kendall lowered the blade down to his wrist, running the blade across his wrist watching the blood start to gush from his wrists . . .

. . .The blood going down the drain as Kendall just kept cutting his wrists in the shower


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I'm sorry that I'm taking so long for these chapters to go up, because I'm getting the ideas, just trying not to ruin the story by making things happen too quickly :D

Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, it really means a lot! It really does

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

He kept going to the gym almost everyday, trying to feel better about himself losing some weight from his body, weight that he probably didn't need to lose, but he was desperate for someone to notice him. Joe had kept him working hard, so almost every day he came back to the apartment tired and cranky, but still no one noticed. They probably thought that he had pissed Gustavo off to the point that he needed to stay behind for extra lessons, but they never asked him about it, and it hurt Kendall more than he wanted to admit

"Hey Kendall" Joe spoke in his deep voice, flexing his muscles to attract a woman who walked past him, winking as she looked back towards him. The first time that Kendall saw him, he definitely thought that he was gay, but his thoughts were wrong as he watched him flirt with a random woman

"Hey, the same as before?" Kendall asked, but he was completely ignored by Joe, who was still flirting with a woman, his voice low and seductive. Rolling his eyes, Kendall went to a running machine, stepping on and setting the settings to how he liked it, starting the jogging machine

* * *

He worked up a big sweat, the disgusting water running down his back and neck as he walked back to the Palm Woods in the hope to have a nice, long shower and think about everything wrong in his life. His thoughts were muddled up, so badly that he didn't know what to think of first, the fact that he had just spotted James a meter away from him, lip locked with a quite pretty blond girl half the size of him, her body pressed against his

"Kendall" James shouted, waving at him as he wrapped his arms around the girls waist, dragging her along. He stopped in front of Kendall, his hazel eyes looking happy and contempt with the girl

"Hi" Kendall spoke, brushing his hair from his eyes when it fell into his eyes because the blond locks were greasy from sweat. The girls face, as soon as her eyes went to Kendall's body, twisted in disgust, especially when she looked down at his stomach. Kendall had to resist the urge to cross his arms over his stomach from feeling self conscious, because her large usually innocent blue eyes were looking horrified at the sheer sight of Kendall, but James didn't seem to notice

"This is Hannah" James introduced, completely ignoring the look on his girlfriends face as he was only staring at Kendall with hopeful eyes to accept his girlfriend. So, with that certain look on James' face, Kendall threw on a happy face for Hannah, masking the hurt and pain he felt in his heart

"I'm Kendall" Kendall held out his hand for her to shake, but she only grabbed onto his fingertips, shaking his hand briefly before shoving his hand away. He didn't look up at James

"Listen, I've got an idea" Kendall couldn't stop his eyes from rolling "how about a double date? Me and Hannah and you and Jo?" James' eyes looked hopeful, the tone happy as he literally bounced on the balls of his feet, clapping in excitement, but the smile almost fell from his mouth after James mentioned Jo

"I would have to ask Jo" Kendall replied, but the smile never fell from James' face, only seemed to brighten

"I already asked Jo, she said she'd love to" Hannah replied for James, slapping her hand over his mouth to silence him from the news. She had her own smile to show off to Kendall, but it was like someone was pulling up on the tips of her mouth with two pieces of strings in a grimace of a smile, freaking out Kendall, because it was so fake

"Great" Kendall smiled, trying to keep the anger from his voice as Hannah practically dragged James away, and he followed like a little lap dog. For an odd reason, Kendall did not like James' new girlfriend, there was something about her that made alarm bells ring and scream in Kendall's head that something was wrong. He hoped that their relationship was not like his and Jo's, and from that thought, Kendall felt fear cripple him

"Sweetie" a hand brushed across his cheek, but it never brought him out of the fear that was keeping his glued to the spot, no matter how much they dragged him along, he never realised that someone was trying to gain his attention

"W-What?" Kendall's voice was weak and strained as his eyes tried to clear, a sharp stinging at his cheek to help to get his attention

"Wake up you idiot" Jo sneered, slapping him again to make sure that his full attention was her "get in the shower, we're going out on a date. No matter how much I really don't want to" Jo's eyes glanced down at his stomach. What was with people and looking down at Kendall's stomach like it was the most disgusting thing in the world, couldn't they see how much it was hurting him? Of course they didn't, because they were so wrapped up in the fame light that they forgot each other, and to forget everything that James had forgotten about Kendall getting his dreams to come true, he went out with Jo Taylor. Kendall had fallen in love with James, but he had not dared to tell him incase that it broke their friendship to a point that they never wanted to speak or be in each others presence again, and it scared Kendall to think about that kind of future. He couldn't live without James, one because Kendall Knight was in love with James Diamond, and secondly because he wanted to keep James as a friend, no matter how he felt towards the boy. He stripped himself of his clothing, only leaving him in his boxers in front of the mirror, but the door cracked open and Jo stepped into the bathroom, her foot tapping on the tiles as she waited for Kendall. Kendall wanted to snap at her to leave, but he couldn't find the strength to answer her back, only look back at his stupid reflection

"You idiot" Jo snapped harshly suddenly, grasping his wrist in a tight hold, digging her nails into his damaged flesh and twisting it up across his back until he was doubled over the basin of the sink

"S-Stop that" Kendall hissed, trying to struggle out of her grip but she gripped harder

"You _cut _yourself?" Jo spoke with a lot of venom in her words, especially when she spoke the word 'cut'. Her fingers were raking across the cuts already on his wrists hard, making him flinch and try to yank his wrist back, but Jo had other ideas. She threw him to the floor by just his wrist, sending him crashing against the toilet, his ribs hitting the toilet but no snapping sound coming from his body. Her hands started to slap against the cabinet that hung uselessly above the sink, yanking open the door and digging inside until she pulled out a black bag and started to rummage through that too

"W-What are you doing?" Kendall asked pathetically from the floor, flinching as a metallic sound rattled against something, a popping sound that was so familiar to Kendall as he opened his mind, hoping that Jo was not going to do what he thought she was. In her long fingers was a blade from a razor, a evil look in her brown eyes

"Only I can hurt you, Kendall" she sneered angrily, crashing to her knees and forcing Kendall's wrist out from under his arm pits, because it was almost like he knew what she was going to do to him. One hard punch in his face stopped Kendall from doing anything to stop her from dragging the blade across his already damaged skin, pressing the sharp blade hard against his wrist to make blood pour out as soon as the blade touched his skin. There was a sickening smile plastered on Jo's lips as she watched the blood pool from Kendall's wrist, a smile that shined in her eyes and making Kendall flinch. She was enjoying watching Kendall in pain, watching his blood flowing from his body, it gave her a sickening sort of pleasure that he could see without having to look in her eyes to find

"Get in the shower" Jo spoke, her tone cold as she let go of his wrist, the cuts stinging horribly and sending pain shooting through his whole arm, but he refused to show how much it bothered him. He easily climbed inside the small tub, making sure to pull the curtain to cover himself before pulling off his boxers, trying to listen for Jo leaving the room before he turned on the water, but it was no use. The curtain was almost clear, only showing a blurred figure still standing proud in the bathroom watching Kendall, so he forced himself to start the shower going and hope for Jo to leave him in peace

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

The plan of Jo leaving as soon as he turned on the shower was useless, because she stood there throughout the whole time he was in the shower, grunting and sneering horrible words as he let the hot water soak through his skin, the water going red from his wrists and down the drain, but it didn't wash away all of the hate and self loathing that he was feeling at the moment, it only made it worse because Jo was still watching him as he stepped out of the shower, butt naked. The look of disgust was back on her face as he reached for a towel, but she managed to keep it out of his grip, snatching it from the radiator and giving him a smirk that made the hairs on his arms go up

"We need to get going" Kendall tried to snatch the towel, but she still kept it from his grasp, the razor glinting in the light of the bathroom as she held it lightly in her fingers. He tried again for the towel, but as his hand was outstretched, Jo made a grab for his wrist, his other one now, and dragged him towards her, the same sadistic smile plastered horribly on her face. She shifted behind him, kicking him behind the knee to force him down on his knees in front of Jo, his shoulder twisted

"You need to know whose boss, you little prick" Jo growled down Kendall's ear, but as soon as she sneered the words, there was a horrible biting pain near his elbow, a sick feeling of blood running down his arm as Jo started giving off a harsh, bitter laugh as she cut into Kendall's skin at his wrist. He flinched when Jo threw him his arm back, letting it slap uselessly against his naked flesh as he stayed on the floor

"Get dressed, and wipe that blood from your body and cover those marks. Don't want people to find out about this, do we?" Kendall knew the question was rhetorical, so he never answered Jo back, only tried to pull his clothing on as quickly as he could, ignoring the horrible pain that scorched down his arm as the fabric brushed over his new scars.

* * *

James' p.o.v

As Hannah was practically glued to his hip, kissing his cheek every time that he looked at her, he couldn't help but cast a glance over to Kendall approaching them, holding Jo's hand. As James scanned Kendall's face, he couldn't stop looking into his pale face

"Hey" James spoke softly to Kendall, who looked up towards him and gave him a big smile that showed in his eyes, and it made James smile with him. The two girls immediately went into conversation, giggling like two school girls as they looped arms and started to walk towards the car, never glancing back at Kendall or James, but they didn't mind

"You okay dude?" James asked Kendall, who was staring at Jo with a look that he couldn't recognise in his eyes, but he didn't really look too deeply into them, because he could guess what the emotion was. Love. Kendall was in love with Jo, and they looked like a perfect couple together, something that James wanted with Hannah, but he kept his mouth shut for Kendall

"Yeah I'm fine" Kendall spoke with a massive smile on his face, but James, as he drove to the cinema for their date, the girls talking in the back, James kept noticing Kendall rubbing at his wrist and near his elbow, a scowl on his face

"What movie should we watch?" James muttered, moving his gaze to the front to concentrate on driving, not to the boy that was sitting next to him with a face like a smacked butt, constantly rubbing at his wrist

"Err" Kendall spoke, his eyebrows knitted together in deep thought, but two giggles shook James from his thoughts as he looked in the rear-view mirror, watching as Hannah and Jo started to giggle again behind their hands

"That movie sounds like fun" James muttered sarcastically as he rolled his eyes

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

"How about we go and get the snacks?" Jo suggested as she removed her arm from around Kendall's waist, looping her arm through Hannah's arm that was already resting on her hips, as if she was ready for Jo to loop her arm through hers, who was wearing that false smile that Kendall hated. The tips of her lips pulled up but quivering. Before James could reply, the two girls started to skip away from them still giggling like school girls. James turned to Kendall, a large smile on his face, showing all of his pearl white teeth with the smile, his eyes very amused

"Well, looks like we're stuck with the task of getting the tickets to whatever show we want to watch" James muttered as he walked towards the line of people who were lined up for the counter, Kendall not following until he noticed Jo walking out of the room, never casting another glance towards him, too focused in giggling with Hannah

"Kendall!" James shouted over the roar of people in the room, waving his arms around like an idiot to get Kendall's attention, even shouting embarrassing names

"I'm coming!" Kendall shouted back with equal volume in his voice, pushing his way through the crowds of people, ignoring the groans and grunts of people that he had to push through to get to James, who was watching him with those hazel eyes he loved so much. James ordered the film they were going to see, Kendall into his thoughts too much, rubbing his left wrist unconsciously, but James grabbed his wrist, yanking him towards him and shoving two tickets in his hand, never letting go of his wrist until Hannah practically bowled into him, knocking him backwards with a small laugh. The fabric across his wrist rubbed horribly, making him flinch, but it went unnoticed by James, who was laughing and kissing Hannah

"Come on, the movies about to start" James muttered past the kisses he was pressing to Hannah's mouth, a small smile on his lips, but eventually he pushed away from her, lacing their fingers together and pulling her towards the entrance, but she pulled back before they got to the man who was standing with a bored expression on his face behind a desk, ready to rip the tickets to let people in. Hannah smiled at James, her mouth moving as she glanced towards Kendall almost nervously. James quickly pecked her lips, handing her one of the tickets before giving the boy his own, Jo moving from her spot from beside him to join James. James briefly glanced behind him, noticing Jo running towards him

"Um Kendall, may I have a word?" Hannah spoke in a cheerful voice, but there was an undertone of anger and disappointment

"What?" Kendall couldn't keep the anger from his tone, but Hannah didn't like it, slapping Kendall right there in front of a bunch of people that they barely knew

"What kind of stuff is James into?" Hannah asked, forgetting the incident moments ago to stare at Kendall with her deep blue eyes trying to look innocent, but he could see the evil bitch deep inside her, and he didn't like what he saw. Constantly, he saw that look in Jo's eyes every time that she looked at Kendall, and he felt scared for James and his relationship

"He likes hockey. Pie. Cuda hair products" Kendall answered true fully but Hannah's face twisted in annoyance, her lip going up in a sort of snarl as soon as he mentioned hockey, and he knew at that moment, that their relationship was over between James and Hannah

"Oh" Hannah spoke simply, rolling her eyes and walking away from Kendall to the same bloke that kept ripping the tickets, but he winked at Hannah as she passed, smacking her butt. She squealed in delight, turning around to wink at the boy. Kendall only stared with his mouth agape at the scene. He followed quickly behind her, glaring at the boy as he ripped the tickets, glaring at Kendall himself as he passed.

He found the room quickly, James shouting at him from the top of the stairs of the cinema, waving like an idiot as Hannah rolled her eyes and tried to scoot away from him, but he barely noticed, only shouting at Kendall move. He jumped up the steps two at a time, squeezing between Jo as she stood up to let him pass, sitting down in the chair next to Jo as she pulled his arm around her shoulders from over the seat, gripping his wrist in a hard grip to keep him pinned. Kendall tried not to flinch as James looked his way, winking at him in amusement at the position he was in.

He barely took any notice of the movie, only glancing sideways at James and Hannah as they watched the movie, the light from the massive screen illuminating across their faces. James' face looked happy with the girl attached to his arm, a small twitch to his face as he smiled. But Hannah looked tense, like she wanted to get out of the room as soon as possible because of what Kendall had said James liked, and it almost hurt him. Hannah turned to whisper in James' ear

"I'm just going to the toilet" Hannah whispered innocently in James' ear, but James only nodded, leaning in for a kiss from Hannah, but she quickly placed her finger on James' lips, stopping him from kissing her. She shook her head, winking at him as she moved down the row and past Kendall. He didn't just stand up, he turned to speak to Jo

"I need to go too" he spoke to Jo and James, looking at Hannah as she stared back. She twirled on the spot almost angrily, stomping down the stairs fast and hard that her footsteps made other people twist in their seats to stare at Hannah's retreating figure. Kendall was not bothered about her temper, only followed her until she tried to swing the door back into his face, but he was quick to catch the door and throw it open. It slammed against the wall with a loud bang, scaring a young couple kissing in the corner, their hair and clothing crumpled and messed up, lip stick smeared across the boys face, Kendall ignored them both. He grasped Hannah's wrist hard, yanking her back before she could take another step towards the exit. He had a speech ready for such an occasion on his lips

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kendall growled, his hand still gripping her wrist as she tried to pull it back, but there was no use

"I thought wrong about James" Hannah squealed in a high pitched voice that made Kendall flinch

"You can't walk out on a date, especially with James. He's a really sweet guy when you get to know him, he puts his heart on the line when in a relationship" Kendall was speaking from his heart, because he knew James like the back of his hand. He knew how much James threw himself into a relationship to make it perfect, thinking that the girl that he was dating was the love of his life, but Kendall had watched him fall so many times, he really didn't want to watch him another time. Especially if it was his fault for mentioning his hobbies and likes. Maybe James had something else planned to tell Hannah when she asked, but now Kendall felt like he had put his foot in his mouth

"He's not my type. Please let me go before I scream" Hannah threatened, tightening her hold on her bag as she watched Kendall with a look that he couldn't read. His hand fell from around Hannah's wrist, and immediately she made a bee-line to the door, not looking back to see if Kendall had tried to follow her. Guilt crashed around Kendall's heart, making it fall to his stomach and a feeling of nausea hit him hard. Kendall himself made a bee-line for the door of the nearest bathroom, throwing open the door and running into the first stall. As soon as his face was hovering over the toilet, vomit rushed up his throat, sending the sick splashing into the toilet like an explosion, and he couldn't stop throwing up in the toilet. A hand crashed down onto his back, rubbing soothing circles across his back

"It's okay Kendall" James cooed soothingly, still rubbing his back as Kendall dry heaved in the toilet, nothing else coming back

"S-She left" Kendall managed to get the words out past his rough, burning throat, the words scratching against his throat. James stopped rubbing his back, probably frozen in horror and hurt as he stared ahead. Kendall didn't want to look behind him to see his reaction, but James recovered quicker than Kendall gave him credit for, gently pulling Kendall away from the toilet and resting him against the stall

* * *

James' p.o.v

He felt as if his heart was ripped out of his chest when Kendall gave him the news about Hannah, but the hurt expression was quickly covered with worry for his friend, who had another violent throwing up fit in the toilet. Kendall was probably feeling guilty for something that happened to Hannah and Kendall, so James couldn't feel any sort of anger towards the tall blond boy, because he was currently throwing up in the toilet. James had been worried when Hannah and Kendall had not come back after ten minutes, leaving Jo to enjoy the movie as he went to find them. To be honest, he almost expected Kendall and Hannah to be kissing behind the door like he found the younger couple (he actually pulled them away thinking it was the two of them, immediately thinking himself a fool for thinking that Kendall would cheat on him with his girlfriend)

"Stupid" James muttered to himself as Kendall pulled his head from the bowl of the toilet, giving off a moan and resting his back against the stall. He looked a mess, the blond hair sticking to his forehead, his green eyes looking haunted and sorrow filled as he looked James in the eyes

"I-I told her your hobbies and your likes. She didn't like them one bit" Kendall's voice was raspy and weak as he spoke, tears filling his eyes as he told James

"Kendall" James cooed, bringing the youngest boy of the four of them into his arms, ignoring the sneers of people in the toilet "I don't blame you for what happened. If she doesn't like me for who I am, then I don't want to go out with her. I'm glad I found out about her now before our relationship got serious" James whispered into Kendall's ear, putting the blonds head on his chest and rocking the smaller boy in his arms. James waited until the smaller boy's breathing was not as heavy as before, his body relaxed instead of tense, and James smiled. He tipped up Kendall's head, but immediately let it drop back on his chest after he found Kendall sleeping

For one in his life, James felt happy with Kendall in his arms


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Omg, 20 followers! Wow, thank you so much everyone who is following my story, it means a lot. I hope that everyone is enjoying my story so far, if not then I'm sorry! Anyway, I'm sorry about not updating as soon as I could, my life's hectic. So please enjoy :)

* * *

TFAYITAC ch. 5

James' p.o.v

He managed to drag Kendall's sleeping form out of the bathroom after cleaning away most of the sick that coated around his mouth without a single disgusted look. Kendall had felt guilty about Hannah just leaving like she had, leaving him dateless and emotionally hurt, but he covered it up. James knew that Kendall had tried to stop her from walking away from the date, explaining a hell of a lot of stuff that would have left Hannah feeling guilty and coming back into the cinema, but the words that Kendall spoke did nothing, but James didn't blame Kendall, at least he tried

"Oh god, is he alright?" Jo screeched right down James' ear, making him wince and almost drop Kendall, but he boosted him up with a small jump, slightly waking him as he moaned slightly

"He's just not very well" James spoke through gritted teeth, trying to shift Kendall in a better position for James, because he soon felt uncomfortable with the dead weight of Kendall's body. Jo hooked Kendall's other arm around her shoulder, but not taking much weight off James by the gesture, but he didn't mind because his brother was not very well and practically hanging from James' shoulder, his face still the sickly green colour it had been before

"Let's get him back to my apartment" Jo spoke, breaking James out of his thoughts, Jo pulling Kendall in the direction of the exit, but James pulled back, Jo stumbling for a moment

"No, he needs to go back to his own apartment. If he's sick, he needs everyone looking after him" James explained slowly, completely ignoring a look of anger that flashed across Jo's face. If he had looked back, he would have seen the angered look on Jo's face, but he couldn't care less about Kendall and Jo's relationship, because his younger brother was not very well. Constantly James stumbled down the street holding Kendall up with his strength, but his arms were getting tired from the dead weight of Kendall, who was moaning and shifting in James' hold, making it difficult for James to keep a good grip on him. But Kendall jumped up in the air so suddenly that James screamed, pushing away from Kendall as he did in fright, only watching as Kendall's body slammed into the pavement back first, luckily not slamming his head

"Owww" Kendall whined from the floor as James tried to get his heart to stop pounding so heavily at the reaction Kendall had while he was asleep. It made him curious about what would make Kendall react so violently to something in his sleep

"Dude!" James shouted, slapping Kendall at the back of the head in annoyance, but Kendall's face went a sickly green colour, he began to rub his stomach as his face twisted "you going to be sick?" James' voice had started to speak loudly, that was until an old woman walked past and growled at James as he asked the question, her face twisting in anger. Then, James' voice had quietened drastically, his eyes slowly watching the old woman as she walked off growling to herself

"I-I don't think so" Kendall rasped, but as soon as the words escaped out from his mouth, Kendall's face went a sickly green shade, and to add to the worry James was already feeling, Kendall's stomach rejected the vomit that rose from his stomach, splashing on the sidewalk with a sickly sound. James never approached Kendall, letting him expel the vomit from his body, only stepping in when Kendall's legs seemed to quiver violently enough that it seemed his legs had turned to jelly

"Dude, we need to get you back home" James stated the obvious, mentally slapping himself when Kendall, behind the golden locks of his hair, rolled his eyes at the comment but never talking, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. He tried to speak but it was horribly raspy, barely understandable to James even though he was meters from Kendall, but James only grabbed Kendall's arm, throwing it over his shoulder and trying to lift him to his feet

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

Somehow James managed to drag Kendall to the apartment, his legs still feeling like jelly as James kept needing to bounce so that Kendall didn't fall to the floor. However, his stomach was still swishing, twisting uncomfortably as he moved back to the apartment, people giving him strange looks probably because his face was pale and sweaty

"Almost there" James whispered in his ear, Kendall jumping in fright and trying to pull away from James' hold as if it burned him, James' hold was still strong, keeping him on his feet successfully, not seeming to notice the flinch

"Y-You can let me go James, I'll be fine" Kendall rasped as he pulled out of James' grip, the room beginning to sway and blur at the edges, his legs threatening to give out on him, until a pair of arms managed to heave him up by his clothing

"Yeah dude, you're perfectly fine" James murmured sarcastically, putting Kendall down on the orange sofa

_"Useless" _Jo's words came back to sting him as James was babying him just because he threw up in the cinema after telling Hannah, James' girlfriend, all about James and his ways, but she didn't like it. Kendall's stomach was still twisting horribly, the urge to throw up starting to rise again, but Kendall tried to swallow it back, because if he went to the bathroom he would get depressed, resulting in him getting the black bag that was in the glass cabinet and cutting himself. But he wouldn't do that, because James was in the room, he would probably become nosey and walk straight into the bathroom, catching Kendall in the act

"Take these" James' voice broke Kendall out of his inner thoughts, which in Kendall's eyes was a very good thing, holding out two paracetamol in his tan hand, the other holding a glass of water. Kendall looked confused, his eyebrows raised in his blond fringe, but he took the paracetamol from James' hand, but that's when it happened. A spark of emotions hit Kendall as soon as his fingertips brushed against James' palm to take the paracetamol, starting from his arm and shooting straight through his heart, Kendall didn't dare to look towards James for a reaction, his own was enough. Kendall's whole body was frozen on the spot, he couldn't even twitch his fingers which were still delicately touching James' palm

"I-I err" Kendall started to talk, trying to get his words around the large lump that refused to go down his throat no matter how many times he swallowed "I'm going to the toilet" Kendall didn't give James any time to say anything, never taking the tablets from his palm, only bolting towards the door and slamming it shut as soon as he lunged through the door. He leaned against the door for a few moments breathing heavily, his mind a whirling vortex of emotions that he couldn't keep hidden, especially from his best friend

"Stupid!" Kendall whispered harshly, slapping his palm into his forehead a load of times until he felt a sting of pain in his forehead and an unusual heat. He felt foolish about his body reacting like it had towards his best friend and brother, because deep inside Kendall knew that James wouldn't feel the same way about him, because James was not gay. Kendall's heart was cracking in his chest every time that he thought about the reaction he had, because he was in love with James but in a relationship with Jo, who was abusive towards Kendall. Kendall hoped that Jo wouldn't become more harsh towards him, because he really didn't need it now that he was still hurting after everything that was happening

"Kendall! Kendall? Dude, open the door" James' voice was frantic, his pounding on the door annoying to Kendall

"Dude I want to go into the shower! Leave me alone!" Kendall shouted, banging on the door with his own fist enough for the wood to jump with the hit. James squealed a girly scream behind the door, Kendall couldn't stop the small smirk that tried to break through his face, letting the smile break across his face, a strange sight to Kendall eyes as he looked in the mirror throwing his reflection back at him. He traced his own hand down his face in the reflection of the mirror, trying to wipe away the pale hue that had coated his face like make up. At the moment Kendall felt useless, Jo's words finally breaking through the Knight armour that he held around his heart, he knew it was cracking slowly from everything that had happened, his father abandoning him when he was five with no other words, his mothers mental break down when he left, Katie's heart breaking sobbing that Kendall could do nothing about to stop, Jo abusing him, it was just so much shit that Kendall dealt with! His only escape was cutting himself to stop the pain

Kendall quickly wrenched his shirt from his body, cringing in disgust as he noticed his stomach still bulging over his jeans. Kendall poked at the skin of his stomach, taking it in his index and thumb and pinching the skin, feeling horrid about himself. He turned his wrist to look at the scars running across his wrists, each one a memory of pain to Kendall, but the most recent was at his elbow, where Jo's name was permanently marked on his skin in white, a constant reminder of the abuse that Kendall was going through. Before Kendall knew it, his hands were lashing out at the glass cabinet, slapping the glass to try to get it open so he could reach inside for the black bag that he kept inside, desperate for the razors that he kept inside

* * *

Logan's p.o.v

Walking through the door of apartment 2J Logan didn't realise that James would be back from his double date with Kendall, lying spread out across the sofa, his breathing light

"SWIRLY!" Carlos' childish voice bellowed in an excited tone, James falling off the sofa with a shriek of terror that would have outmatched the girliest, plastic girl around the Palm Woods, and Logan rolled his eyes as James jumped up from the floor and having a screaming contest with Carlos, who was yelling back. Logan tried to break them up, but suddenly Carlos lunged at James, tackling him to the floor behind the sofa and out of Logan's sight

"Guuys" Logan whined, throwing up his hands in annoyance as James and Carlos kept fighting on the floor, wrestling to be on top

"Can't. Speak" Carlos gritted out, flipping his body so that James was on the floor, Carlos starting to pull at James' hair, James giving off a shrill scream and fighting against Carlos

"I need new friends" Logan moaned, stomping towards his room and throwing himself on the bed, burying his nose into his bed sheets and closing his eyes, trying to get Camille out of his head. Logan had seen her kissing some random guy in the lobby, and Logan didn't know if it was because of a part in a movie, or because they were dating, and it hurt Logan more than he really wanted to admit. He felt anger towards Kendall, who had the perfect relationship with Jo, something that Logan wanted with Camille, but it was like spitting in the wind, completely pointless. He didn't know what feelings Camille had towards him, and every time that he somehow worked up the courage to ask her, something would come up and ruin his special speech he set up, and it was usually something about work and the band. If Logan approached one of the guys to ask about it, they would help, but Logan wanted to do this on his own, just so that Camille didn't feel pressure at answering his question. But now? Logan was lying in his bed, watching the time on his alarm clock ticking slowly, the red numbers mocking him as they flashed

"Stupid Kendall and his stupid perfect relationship with Jo" Logan muttered, picking up the alarm clock and gripping it tightly, pretending, only for a moment that it was Camille "god, you don't know how much I love you Camille. It hurts me to watch you flaunt yourself at men when it's obvious that you can see that I love you, I can become the perfect man in your life, please, just let me in. I love you" Logan whispered to the alarm clock, resisting the urge to bring the clock to his lips for a kiss, something he would have done with Camille if he was talking to her. But it wasn't, and once again the confidence left Logan as soon as it arrived

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

Dizziness settled in Kendall's body but he refused to stop cutting himself, the pain that was piercing his wrists did nothing to stop the blade from running across his skin, the blood was already caked on his skin but he barely felt it, tears stinging at his eyes obscuring his vision

"Stop it" Kendall moaned to himself in a broken voice, forcing his right hand away from his wrist with his bloody left hand, slapping his hand so that he dropped the razor, but it was much harder than Kendall expected, because his hand only tightened around the blade, his fingers being cut by the sharp edge "Ow" Kendall hissed, dropping the blade this time to the floor, listening at the metallic twang that the metal made when it came into contact with the tiled floor, but no one came to see what the noise was, and almost immediately Kendall felt the need for the blade again

The urge for the pain

The blood flowing from his veins

The sweet release of emotions that he felt when the blood began to flow

"No!" Kendall screamed frantically at the blade, kicking out in anger towards the forgotten blade, watching as it flew in the air and hit the bath tub with a loud clank that echoed around the room, still no one came to ask Kendall what was wrong. He fell to the floor sobbing hard, his knees hurting from crashing onto them straight away, nothing to smooth out the landing, Kendall's fingers dragging through his hair as he sobbed, gripping it tightly and pulling hard as he cried. Large, fat tears rolled down his face, his throat tightening up because the muscles in his neck were strained so much from him crying his eyes out, and still there was no crashing at the door, no frantic voices trying to get into the bathroom to comfort Kendall. No one cared about him as Kendall dragged his pathetic excuse of a body to the shower, climbing into the tub and slapping at the tap of the shower until the water started to gush around Kendall, drenching him immediately with cold water, until it started to warm up. Soon the water was burning Kendall, his back protesting against the hotness of the water, but Kendall ignored the pain, clutching as his knees as he dragged them to his chest. . .

. . .And began to sob into them, feeling lonely and depressed

* * *

Disclaimer: Oh dear, Kendall's starting to become depressed because of everything that's happening! Who hopes that someone finds out about Kendall and tries to stop it?

Let's have a vote!

Out of James, Carlos or Logan, who should be the first one to find out what's happening to Kendall? Only about him cutting himself? I want people to have a say, because to be honest, I'm trying to think of who would be best to find out. It won't happen yet, don't worry! I'm trying not to ruin the story too quickly (some advice that I got from a fellow reviewer, so thank you) Hope I'm doing a good enough job with this story :)

You guys would tell me if I was not, right? Lol, anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter :)

DoomedPhsyx2030,

Love ya all


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Well, I thank everyone about answering my question about who should find Kendall cutting! Here are the numbers so far;

James - 2

Logan - 6

Carlos - 3 (because I've just got a new review for my story)

So, so far it's Logan that will find Kendall :) If I've counted correctly (knowing me, I have not counted right somewhere along the line!)

Hope you enjoying my story so far

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

After throwing a handful of water over his face to try to hide the redness that stained his face, Kendall managed to walk out of the bathroom with his chin held high, only to find the apartment empty and dark

"That was the reason no one came to ask me what was wrong" Kendall whispered to himself in the lonely room, looking inside each room to find the beds empty and sheets tangled, not made up in the slightest even though it was half ten at night, but Kendall found himself starting to worry, a small voice in the back of his head starting to make an appearance

_Do you really think they care about you Kendall?Do you really think they stayed to listen to you pathetically sob and cry in the bathroom? Ha, you really are pathetic! They heard you sobbing in the bathroom but thought you sounded pathetic, so they left, just so you thought that they had not been in the apartment. You should listen to Jo more often, because every word that comes out of her pretty mouth is all true, and you know it Kendall, just look at yourself. They can't stand the sight of you, I can't stand the sight of you, and I have to look at your reflection every time you look in the mirror! Ugh, its disgusting!_

Kendall actually took a look in the mirror that hung in the living room, personally put there by James so he had another mirror to look at, but Kendall hated the mirror as soon as he glanced in it, his horrid reflection bounced right back at him, and he hated the sight. His blond hair was wet and plastered to his forehead, the fringe flopping over his eyes. His face was a streaky pale colour, possibly paler than Logan's, and he was pale, his lips the only thing that really stood out on his face. The usual happy look that should have been in his eyes was not there anymore, only a pathetic looking seventeen year old boy looking in a mirror and feeling sorry for himself. Suddenly, without Kendall really thinking about it, he lashed out at the mirror with the full force of his whole body, taking a large step forwards to power the punch, shards of glass scattered all around Kendall's fist still attached to the mirror, some of the shards glistened red as they fell

_See? See how pathetic you look, even you have to admit to that! _

The voice slowly faded away, leaving Kendall feeling much worse than he had in a long time. He didn't bother to pick up the shards, only picking up the largest piece and pocketing it in his jeans. The pain finally registered in his mind, a sharp throbbing pain attacking his knuckles as he clenched his hand in anger again, wanting to punch something again to release the sudden anger than was consuming his body, but he swallowed it down, closing his eyes tightly and squashing the anger into a small ball. As soon as he knew that the anger was gone from his body, Kendall crouched down on the floor, slowly picking up the small shards of glass that were all over the floor around his feet, but he soon hissed in pain when one of the glass pieces slipped from his fingers, cutting his palm as it fell

"Ow, bloody piece of sh-" Kendall's hiss of speech was cut off as the front door slammed open and a sharp sigh of anger was the only sound in the apartment, because Kendall held his breath, hoping that the person who opened the door did not realise what he was doing

"Kendall!" someone shouted, and Kendall noticed it was James, guilt suddenly hitting his gut as he realised that he had smashed James' mirror in his anger, it still lay as evidence on the floor

"Dude I'm sorry about your mirror. I-I got angry an-"

"What? Are you hurt?" James cut off Kendall's apology, grabbing Kendall's hand and bringing it to his face, his hazel eyes scanning his knuckles, his brow knitted together in concern. Kendall just let him, not wanting to pull away from James enough that the shirt he was wearing would rile up and show the scars that lined his wrist, because then James would become concerned, and Kendall didn't want anyone to know. So he let James brush his fingers across the long cut across Kendall's whole knuckle, Kendall flinching as he did

"I'm okay dude, it's just a small cut and it's stopped bleeding" Kendall replied to James' question, but James shot him a warning glare, daring him to say the sentence again just by a look in those hazel eyes, so Kendall snapped his jaw shut

"It's not just a 'small cut'" James practically hissed the 'small cut' part, his hazel eyes looking frustrated and worried at the same time "I don't care about the mirror, only that you're hurt" James' hands kept brushing his knuckles, and Kendall was trying not to flinch or blush at the same time. But the door crashed open, the door slamming against the wall, James squeezed Kendall's fingers, making the cut on his knuckles sting

"Ow" Kendall hissed sharply, snatching his hand back from James' tan hand even though he didn't want to because his hand soon turned cold, but another shrill voice attacked Kendall's ears, and he flinched away from the voice as if it burned him, and he regretted it immediately. Logan's brown eyes looked hurt after Kendall flinched away from him as if he was his worst enemy, and it hurt Kendall to see the look in his eyes

"What happened?" Logan asked in a quiet voice, probably afraid of the answer that Kendall would give

"I just got so angry. . .I-I couldn't control it, so I lashed out at-" Kendall stopped in his speech to look at the broken shards on the floor, guilt swarming in his stomach once more. But tan fingers forced themselves under his chin, moving his gaze from the shards to James' hazel eyes that looked pained

"It's okay" James whispered as Logan continued to administer first aid to Kendall's knuckle, dabbing something on his knuckle that had him hiss and take his hand back to cradle it against his chest

"My baby!" a girls voice screamed in horror, crashing into Kendall before he could try to stop the person from hitting his body, but it froze. Jo's blonde hair was the first thing he saw, that was until the drowning scent of her perfume assaulted his nose, blocking his senses so much that it was the only thing he could smell for a few moments

"J-Jo?" Kendall whispered in fright, but it sounded like he was surprised to his own ears. His mind must have been playing a trick on him, or somehow he had managed to keep the terror from his voice

"Oh sweetheart! I was so worried about you when James took you home" Jo's voice sounded like she was about to cry, but when Kendall moved his head from her shoulder, her eyes looked furious, the tears looking like crocodile tears that leaked down her pale cheeks. Kendall could see right through the mask she wore over her face to hide her true intentions, and it scared Kendall

"I'm sorry" Kendall whispered when a flash of annoyance flickered through Jo's eyes briefly, Kendall pulled her in for a hug, a small, low snarl was growled from her throat, but he didn't listen, only held her tighter against his chest to make sure that she didn't give too much away

"I can take over" Jo smiled at Logan as she slowly pulled Logan's fingers away from Kendall's hand, still giving him the smile that was meant to light her face, but once again, Kendall could see right through it. Kendall tried to shoot Logan a look to say 'please don't leave me alone with her' really pleading with his eyes , but it was ignored as Logan smirked back at her

"Don't be too harsh" Carlos joked, Jo giving off a hollow laugh that sent goosebumps coursing through his body, no one else heard the laugh like Kendall had, and he visible flinched away from Jo

"I won't" Jo whispered when she heard the door slam to a close, leaving Jo in the room her thoughts, and Kendall trying to pull himself to the bathroom door before Jo could turn around to hurt him, but he was dragged back from his goal, he had been so close. His fingers had almost brushed the door of the bathroom, but now he was sliding on his stomach towards Jo, who was wearing a small sneer of a smile on her face, indicating to Kendall that she was not pleased

"N-No" Kendall whispered, but the rest of his speech was cut off as Jo slapped his cheek hard twice to shut him up from speaking

"You really are pathetic. I don't understand why you are my boyfriend" Jo muttered, mostly to herself, but making sure that Kendall could hear the words, hear the large amount of truth that was in the words

* * *

Jo's p.o.v

She left Kendall curled up on the tiled floor of the bathroom, bleeding, but she didn't care at all.

Her only thought was to get outside for her master plan, which was slowly coming to life as she walked out of the Palm Woods lobby, throwing open the door with excitement. She needed to get to the studio fast, because she needed make-up and fast, that was the major part to her plan. She formed the plan slowly in her mind as she walked to the studio, waving and smiling happily, which truth not something she did around Kendall, because she felt so happy about the plan, it made her want to jump in the air and squeal in delight, but she managed to keep it bottled inside, just for the moment. The make-up artist that she had phoned previously about her idea walked up to her, holding a large collection of brushes in both hands, a smile, that was almost similar to hers, shone on her face. The smile must have been different, because Jo had not given any information about why she wanted this done, the woman had agreed frantically

"You ready?" she asked in a sweet voice

5 hours later

Jo walked out of the studio, a sad smile on her face and looking like she was about to cry. She limped as she walked, hissing and whimpering as she put weight on her leg. A hand clasped around her wrist, and Jo flinched and whimpered in fright as she tried to pull away from the person who had a strong hold on her wrist

"Hey, are you alright?" a strong boys voice whispered low in his throat, slowly turning Jo around so that he could see her face fully. Jo knew about the bruises that littered her face, it looked like she had gone a whole round with a boxer and lost. His brown eyes looked horrified at the large amount of bruises

"I-I" Jo tried to speak, but words were stuck in her throat, and she whimpered to try to unblock them

"Oh god, what happened to you?" the boy whispered, going in to brush his fingers across her cheeks, but Jo flinched back, trying to make herself as small as possible

"M-My boyfriend. H-He h-hit me" Jo whimpered in a scared voice, flinching again when the boy brought her into a long hug, rubbing soothing circles in her back as Jo cried

"He's going to pay for hurting a girl" the boy sneered against Jo's hair...

..But he missed the way Jo's face contorted into a sick smile at the threat towards her boyfriend


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Thank you to everyone that has reviewed my story! It means a hell of a lot to me. But I just love the comments about how people want Jo to die because of what she's doing to Kendall :)

Thank you to;

Swayzee Sweetheart

AkireAlev

Jacob's Imprint Renesmee

For reviewing my last chapter! I hate cliff hangers too, but I just had to put it in, because I don't want people to get bored of my fanfic! I hope that everyone is enjoying it, because I'm enjoying writing it :)

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

The loud obnoxious sound of his alarm clock blaring right next to his ear started to give him a headache as he swiped at the clock. He whacked his wrist on the sharp edge of the cabinet at the side of his bed in his stupid attempt, but a low groan of annoyance from the other side of the room made Kendall's eyes burst open to see who it was, his heart pounding loud in his ears

"Turn that stupid thing off!" James moaned in annoyance, and soon Kendall felt something soft hit his face. Kendall only rolled his eyes, glancing to the right and watching as the alarm clock kept blaring so much that it fell from the cabinet onto the floor with a metallic clunk that made Kendall flinch, kicking off the covers to lift himself from the bed to look at James, the person he truly loved with all his heart. James was still lying on the bed, spread out covering every inch of the bed with his long limbs, his brown hair tossed all over the pillow, but to Kendall, James still looked hot

Kendall immediately shook the thoughts out of his mind violently, knowing that James would never feel the same way about him. He knew that James would punch him if he confessed his feelings, but what would Jo think about the whole thing? Considering how violent she got when she was incredibly pissed off, however, Kendall had not seen her since yesterday, when everyone in the apartment had left him alone with her, and what had she done? Beaten him until he was bloody on the floor underneath her foot like a piece of shit stuck to her shoe

"Kendall?" a voice whispered right in his ear, trying to sound soothing but sounding too much like how Jo would speak. Kendall flinched back when he felt pressure under his eye from two fingers that were blurred right next to his eye, tanned and long

"J-James?" Kendall stuttered, really not meaning to do so, but he tried to squint at the face that was inches away from his, his vision unfortunately, wouldn't clear enough to allow Kendall the moment of being able to see who was pressing down painfully under his eye

"Dude, what the hell happened?" James' breath was warm as he breathed against Kendall's lips, pressing down on another painful place on his face, but this time, instead of allowing the gesture, Kendall withdrew away from James' touch, slapping around in his cabinet draws for a mirror. A hand grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand away from the wood to place a heavy object in Kendall's shaking hands. As Kendall moved his eyes slowly to the object, he almost dropped it

It was James' favourite mirror that he kept close to him, never allowing anyone else to touch it, only merely glance in it for a second before it was pulled away from their face. Kendall's mouth fell open with the shock, but James' fingers brushed underneath his jaw, only to snap his mouth closed with a wide, beaming smile on his beautiful face. He couldn't help just stare into those hazel eyes eyes, almost getting lost inside them until he shook himself awake from his daydream. Kendall slowly took a small glance in the mirror, but his eyes stared at his reflection. Bruises went down his jaw line like a large, bumpy line, looking much like knuckes and looking painful with purple and blue colours, they were not the only bruises. The one James had been touching before was the worst one out of the lot, he had a black eye from Jo constantly slapping him across the face right in the eye area, and it stung now that Kendall's attention was focused on them

"It looks like it stings" James' voice tried to make it look like he was making the statement light, however Kendall could hear right through the tone of the voice behind James' words. They sounded horrified at the wounds Kendall had, an equal feeling rushing inside Kendall's body at the same moment James spoke

"They do" Kendall laughed, the sound vaguely unfamiliar in his ears but he plastered the smile he knew would mask the feelings he held on his face. It had happened ever since his father left all those years ago, just after he had been forced to become the man of the house, looking after Mama Knight and Katie, being the strong person in their lives. Kendall had forced all of his own feelings away from his body, ripped them from his soul so that he couldn't feel again, couldn't be broken like he had all those years ago so he could be strong for everyone else, and he thought that he had succeeded in doing so. The mask covered his face entirely, never giving himself away, not even to his brothers who were meant to see right through it, just like they had promised.

James' face looked like he would rather be out of the room

"You don't have to stay with me" Kendall broke the silence that stiffed the room, reading the look on James' face too well for his own good, but it soon vanished from his face as soon as Kendall spoke, a guilty smile lighting his face

"No, I didn't mean to look that way" James whispered as he took Kendall's hands in his own, Kendall had to try to control his breathing as a spark went through Kendall when James touched his hands. James didn't seem to notice

"Something has been going on with you lately. It's not me that's only noticed, Logan's noticed too. I want some answers, Kendall" James' voice held annoyance but an undertone of fear that Kendall moved to look at James, but the hazel eyes were downcast to Kendall's fingers, he started to play with his long fingers

"Nothing's going on James" Kendall spoke with a calm voice, even though inside he was screaming at himself to get out of the room before he spilled the secret of Jo abusing him, and how much Kendall loved James. He bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, but he snatched his hand back from James' grip, even though he wanted them to remain playing with his fingers, but he wouldn't show any sort of weakness. Kendall had already started to show a stupidly large amount of fear and weakness towards Jo

"You've been loosing weight, you don't smile as much as you used to" James started to speak, trying to grab at Kendall's fingers again, but Kendall made sure that his hand was not in James' reach, he missed the sad look in James' eyes "you don't have that natural glow around you anymore, and we're worried about you Kendall. I'm worried" James' tone made Kendall look up, but he didn't meet James' eyes, because James' face was downcast to his own lap, fiddling with his fingers

"I'm fine James" Kendall laughed as James flinched. James' face suddenly went bright red, and Kendall could only watch as he gave off a rebel cry of what seemed like annoyance, throwing up his hands and jumping up from the bed, twirling around to face Kendall. He could see the sheer anger in James' face and eyes, and for a moment Kendall thought that James would slap him, even flinching as if he would

"You know what, fuck you Kendall!" James sneered "I've tried to be nice, ask you what's wrong! But each time you push me away more and more, and I can't take it anymore! I can't keep watching you fall Kendall, so I've had enough! Deal with your problem your fucking self! I'm done thinking about you" James roared, stomping out of the room and leaving the room

"James, wait" Kendall tried to force James to turn around, but all James did was stop dead in his tracks. He never turned around to look at Kendall, and that single non gesture, almost made Kendall's eyes water

"No Kendall" James spoke through gritted teeth "I'm through with this friendship" James continued to walk across the hall to the door, throwing it open and just walking out without a second glance towards Kendall. He missed the tears that started to leak down Kendall's cheeks

_See how pathetic you are Kendall? You drove your best friend away, all because you don't have the balls to talk to him, to confess what's happening to you. That's called being a pussy, and you my friend, are the biggest one in the world! Why stay in this world? Why continue to live in this world when you don't have your best friend to catch you? Why don't you just kill yourself now and get it over with? _

Kendall didn't move, only sank to his knees gripping onto his hair tightly to try to block out the voice telling him to end his life now, because he was a waste of space. The tears wouldn't stop leaking down his cheeks, he bowed his head to his knees, crying and sobbing to make the pain in his chest to go away

"Kendall?" a small timid voice spoke, and Kendall knew it was Jo that spoke the words, but he never looked up to see if it was true

"What?" Kendall spoke in a pathetic voice, his voice blocked horribly by the tightness of his throat

"Can you come with me for a second? Outside?" Jo's voice made Kendall look up from his knees, but his heart stopped at what he saw

Jo's face was a mixture of black and blues, her face covered in bruises

"W-What happened to you?" Kendall whispered, immediately rising to his feet and collecting Jo in a hug, forgetting everything that happened between them, but Jo kept insisting that they go outside

* * *

"So, what's so important?" Kendall asked as Jo pulled him along like a dog on a leash into a small alleyway, her eyes constantly flickering all around, never settling on anything and it made Kendall nervous

"Just something" Jo spoke, but never gave him anything else to go on, so he followed like the little puppy dog he was, until he hit something solid that almost knocked him off his feet

"Is this the little bastard that hurt you Jo?" a boys voice snarled threateningly, making Kendall lift his head to look at the guy. He was massive, mostly muscles that really stuck out of the shirt he was wearing. His chest was puffed out, looking threatening towards Kendall, his brown eyes looking wild with excitement

"Y-Yes" Jo stuttered in a pathetic voice, but Kendall didn't have time to try to glance in Jo's direction as a fist swung in his vision, hitting the target of Kendall's face. He felt a bone in his cheek crack under the huge amount of pressure that the man had behind the punch, it literally sent Kendall flying to the floor before he could pull in a breath. His vision blurred as his head hit the concrete hard enough for him to see stars, threatening to blacken completely if Kendall had not been the stubborn person he was. He willed the blackness out of his vision, but thousands of fists, or that's how it felt like to Kendall, pounded into his body with no mercy one after the other, Kendall couldn't tell what part of his body hurt the most, because all of his body was screaming at once. One of the many fists hit his ribs so hard that before Kendall heard the snapping sound of his own rib breaking, there was a searing white-hot pain scorched at his ribs so badly that it sucked out all of the breath in his lungs, leaving him breathless. They didn't stop with their ruthless attack, and Kendall was finding it really difficult to suck in a breath, no air came into his lungs because someone else slammed their foot this time into Kendall's side. Kendall began to start to scream in pain, trying to shift his body enough to make sure that they wouldn't punch any part of his body that was already starting to sting, but it was a useless attempt, because all they did was turn him back onto his back every time that he twisted, one of the boys even holding him down by his shoulders, digging their knees into his shoulder to really pin him to the floor so all he could do was try to kick out at the men, every attempt he missed

"This will teach you to beat up a woman, you stupid son of a bitch" one of the boys screamed in Kendall's face, grabbing a fist full of his shirt to yank him nose-to-nose to the same boy who had punched him first to send him to the floor. His were still wild with a deep fire that had Kendall wanting to push back away from him, but a hand grabbed his wrist and violently twisted it sharply one way, and there was the unmistakable sound of a bone breaking that sent Kendall screaming louder, his back arching with the pain, but the thug kept his tight grip on Kendall's wrist, twisting it more when Kendall refused to stop thrashing to get out of the boys grip

"Do you think he's had enough?" a timid voice managed to squirm its way into Kendall's ears past the fiery pain that assaulted his body. Kendall tried to stand tall, but his body was physically weak, his knees trembling with pain, fear and having to support his whole body that now felt like he had two tonnes of concrete dumped on his shoulders. At that moment Kendall felt useless, _fat _as he trembled pathetically in the hands of the thugs

"He will never have enough" the boy who was holding him upright suddenly let go of Kendall's top, and he couldn't support his body for a great deal of time. As soon as there was nothing supporting his body, Kendall's legs gave out from underneath him, collapsing in a heap at the feet of those who hurt him, he must have looked like a puppet that had its strings violently severed cut, collapsing to the floor like he had no bones in his body, and that's how Kendall felt. There was a spitting sound, and then a wet stubstance hitting his face, but Kendall never moved to wipe it away, his hands didn't even flinch to attempt to move

"Let's go"

And before Kendall's vision went black from giving up the fight against unconsciousness, he noticed the small smile that tugged at Jo's lips as she watched him lying on the ground with god knows what injuries he sustained. That was until a boy pulled her away from his sight, the smile dropping off her face

Leaving Kendall alone in the alleyway with no one to help him as his vision faded to black

* * *

Disclaimer: well, I'm thinking that people are going to hate Jo even more because of this!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! There's going to be more angst towards Kendall in later chapters, so be excited!

Hope I've done a good enough job for everyone :)

DoomedPhsyx2030


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Oh my gosh, I am so happy at the moment with this fanfic! It's my best one yet! Thank you for all of the reviews and followers

Thank you so much to;

Swayzee Sweetheart

Jenizzleoffdachain

Jacob's Imprint Renesmee -

xTheTearsThatNeverFallx

22Random Ninja22 - I really didn't mean to make you cry! I'm so sorry about that!

sso8

Mdkelly1

For reviewing my last chapter! It means a lot to me when people review, especially with the reviews I've gotten!

Right, I'll stop rambling!

* * *

_...beep...beep...beep...beep_

An annoying, obnoxious sound came to Kendall's right side as he slowly woke up from his dreamless sleep thinking it was his alarm clock, the constant noise making him groan in anger, forcing his tired arm that was heavy to lift, to move towards his alarm clock that would have been making that stupid sound in the first place...

...wait, what? Tired limbs? But he didn't do anything at the studio yesterday, so why was he so tired all of a sudden? Why couldn't he move his arms like he wanted to, not even to flex his fingers which was usually an easy task. What was that annoying sound!

Kendall tried to open his eyes, but they were heavy like led, making it difficult for them to fully open, they only opened half lidded

"Mr Knight?" someone spoke through the haze of only just waking up, their voice was sickly sweet but sounded like they didn't want to be in the room with him, Kendall tried to squeeze his eyes closed before opening them, they were just too heavy!

"Y-Yes?" Kendall chocked out through a large lump in his throat, swallowing hard enough for it to hurt

"Can you open your eyes for me please, Mr Knight?" the woman's voice spoke again, but it seemed to grow more and more frustrated the longer Kendall tried top open his eyes, almost squeezing his eyes closed hard enough for it to be painful, forcing a small grunt of pain before his eyes fully opened.

Big mistake

The bright light from the lights overhead of his bed scorched behind his eyes as soon as the eyes were opened, it was probably not as bright as Kendall imagined, but it still made him cringe and slam his eyelids closed quickly

"Owww" Kendall whined, lifting his arm no matter how heavy his arms were, to wipe his eyes to help to ease the pain

"How do you feel Mr Knight?" Kendall opened his eyes slowly to the woman that was talking, and he had to bite back any response to what he saw. She was an older woman, only about 40 with light grey hair was was pulled back against her head in a messy bun, most of the hair however hung around her face like wires. She looked scary, someone that shouldn't have been a nurse, because her face was contorted in a sort of snarl, the upper lip pulled back from her teeth making her look like a rabid dog, except without the foaming at the mouth part. A metallic clipboard of some sort was clutched in her long, bony fingers that were thin like sticks, the blue veins popping out of her skin making it look rough. Kendall did not feel safe with the woman in the room, his fingers twitching towards the call button to get another nurse, but the dark, cold blue icy eyes were glaring at Kendall, daring him to move his hand towards the call button

"I-I feel fine" Kendall carefully replied, slowly inching his hand away from the call button, the woman watching him. She rolled her eyes in what seemed like annoyance before she pulled a pen out of her breast-pocket with two fingers, clicking it once before throwing open the clipboard with a small flick of her bony wrist, scribbling something down on the paper quickly, never looking up from the paper, only knitting her eyebrows together in concentration

"What is your name?" She asked in that annoyed tone again

"Kendall Knight" Kendall replied carefully again, not wanting to upset this woman, because she really looked annoyed with being in the room

_"No one wants to look at you Kendall" _the voice started, almost making Kendall's eyes water with the one thought, but he pushed them back along with the painful voice that was starting to chip away at his heart

"Well done" it was like she was talking to an obedient dog that learnt a really hard trick, sarcastically and mocking. There was a slam of a door some where in the hospital, the woman was unfazed by the noise, Kendall however, jumped in fright and pulled something that made a shooting pain scorch the top of his hand. He hissed in pain, looking down to look at a tube that was an I.V, Logan personally told him a long time ago

"How long until I can leave this place?" Kendall asked out of term, immediately mentally slapping himself when the woman's gaze slowly lifted from the paper, the icy cold blue eyes narrowed with a warning that almost had Kendall slumping in his bed to show how submissive he was. The ability of being able to answer a woman back was lost, all because of Jo and the relationship

"You're going to be staying over night because of your injuries" she spoke mockingly "you've got three broken ribs, which are also heavily bruised from constant hits to your mid-section. A broken wrist which we have bandaged, and a lot of bruises. Now, Mr Knight, care to enlighten me on how you sustained these injuries?" she had leaned closer towards Kendall, leaning heavily on the foot of the bed with her other hand placed neatly on her hip to complete the look, but she still looked very annoyed, still not wanting to be in the same room as him, but why should he blame her? He was nothing but a waste of space to everyone's eyes, the woman could see right through him, could see how pointless it was to be looking after him

_"You should just tell her the truth, say that you've been beaten up by a group of huge men because you're nothing! It doesn't matter that Jo lied to them about you beating her up in the relationship, because quite frankly, you deserved every punch, every kick to your skinny, pathetic body. Does it look like the others will come to see you at the hospital? Does it look like they care, especially James? The boy you've been crushing on since high school, when you finally figured out you were gay. You've lost him, you've lost everyone precious in your life, it was a good thing that your dad left when he did, because why would he want a useless son like you when he's got Katie? The brains of the family. What have you got, Fame? That won't last, because that won't last, not with me in your subconsciousness_

"Mr Knight, I asked you a question" the woman broke the vicious voice in his mind almost too late, because the words were swimming in his mind, crushing his soul, almost enough for him to burst out crying. Kendall could feel his bottom lip trembling, could feel the sting of tears that threatened to blur his vision and be seen by the woman, but he couldn't allow that

"I-I got jumped on my way back home by a gang of boys" Kendall lied easily through his teeth, ignoring the way the voice tried to make a sarcastic comeback in his mind, laughing at him because of the pathetic excuse he made up to lie about the injuries and how he got them. The voice kept telling him to re-open his mouth to tell the woman that it had been because his girlfriend had lied to a bunch of boys about how he was the abuser in the relationship, not the other way around, but wouldn't that mean that he would look more pathetic to the woman?

"Right" she drew out the word mockingly, rolling her eyes as if she knew that it was a lie "we have tried to call your mother, but she doesn't seem to be answering her phone. Do you have anyone else that we could phone? Another guardian or a relative?" she flipped open the file again, the pen hovering over paper just waiting for Kendall to open his mouth and reply. But he didn't know who to get the doctors to phone, because in his mind, Kendall thought that everyone hated him

James would only put the phone down on the doctors after screaming and shouting about how Kendall was not in the hospital, and how much he didn't care. So James was out

Carlos wouldn't really be very responsible if the doctors phoned him, because the boy would probably get himself hurt trying to get to the hospital to see Kendall, and he didn't want that to happen. Carlos was out too

Which only left Logan, the doctor of the group, the one that, in exception to James, could almost see that Kendall was hurting, suffering under someone's hand. But if they had been able to see all of that, why had they not helped him in his time of need earlier?

With a shaking voice, Kendall told the nurse above him the number for Logan

* * *

Logan's p.o.v

Logan screamed when his phone suddenly started to vibrate close to his pillow while he was sleeping, immediately knocking any ounce of sleep from his body, jerking up from the pillow to blindly scrounge for the phone that refused to stop ringing. Tired deep brown eyes stared sleepily down at the screen of his phone, not noticing the number because it was flashing 'unknown' at him. Previous experience taught Logan not to miss these calls, because it could be an important phone call. Sliding his finger across the screen, Logan gingerly placed the phone to his ear, yawning heavily down the speaker

"H-Hello?" Logan stuttered, rubbing at his eyes to try to become more awake

"Hello, is this a Mr Logan Mitchell?" an unfamiliar woman's voice spoke down the phone, sounding sweet and careful with her words because she must have known that it was...Logan didn't know what time it was, and a small glance to his alarm clock told him it was three minutes past one in the morning. No wonder the woman was talking sweetly!

"Y-Yes that;s me" Logan felt his eyes drooping

"I'm calling about a Kendall Knight" there was a rustling of papers on her side of the line "transferred into the hospital at half past ten. We've been trying to contact a Mrs Knight, but we have had no luck" Logan's heart dropped in his chest as soon as Kendall's name was mentioned, because he had talked to James after he stormed out of the apartment in a rush of anger, almost flattening poor Logan if he had not seen James as quickly as he had. James, later on when he had calmed down and apologised about almost knocking Logan over, explained about how much Kendall was getting on his nerves not talking to him or anyone else when it was so clear to James, but not as much Logan, that Kendall was hurting inside. Logan had noticed the slight change in Kendall's appearance, the way he wouldn't eat, how he would stay quiet until someone spoke to him, all of those signs had not triggered Logan's 'doctor sense' until now, and it was ringing heavily and loudly, almost obnoxiously, in his ears

"I-Is he okay?" Logan rushed out in one sentence, not daring to breathe until the woman reassured him that Kendall was okay

"Yes he's awake and co-operating with the nurse that's looking after him. I'm just phoning to reassure you that he is okay, and we will be keeping him in the hospital overnight for observation. Could you pick him up tonight at about seven? We should be finished with Mr Knight by then"

"Of course" Logan breathed down the phone in relief, raking a hand through his hair

"Thank you, good night. And I'm sorry about bothering you at this time of night" the woman spoke, but didn't give Logan enough time to reply back as the woman put down the phone heavily, leaving Logan with the stupid ringing

"Thanks to you too" Logan muttered, pressing the 'end' button on his phone and tucking it back underneath his pillow. He didn't know what to do, so instead of just trying to get back to sleep, which he knew he couldn't do because he was much to worried now about Kendall, Logan swung his legs over the side of his bed, his bare feet hitting the floor with a slap making him go cold. He glance across the room at Carlos, looking to see if he had woken up the boy while on the phone, but the scene before him was funny

Carlos was half on the bed, half off. His upper half was the one dangling off the side of the bed, his helmet no longer on his head, it was cast aside across the room on its side looking lost. Carlos' legs were tangled in the bed sheets, and he was shifting his feet to try to loosen them away from his legs, not succeeding. There was a line of dribble going down Carlos' cheek from where Logan was standing

"Typical Carlos" Logan muttered, but the rest of the sentence was cut off when there were a collection of crashes and bangs coming from James and Kendall's room, and for a moment Logan thought that Kendall might have escaped from the hospital was was home to look after himself. If that was the case, Kendall would be in deep trouble

Logan crossed the room quickly, carefully turning the handle and pulling the door open, peering outside into the living room. There was a dark figure on the sofa, a tuft of hair that was impossible to recognise in the dark peered over the back of the sofa, not noticing Logan as he crept closer to look at the figure closer

"Kendall?" Logan called out in a harsh whisper, but the figure jumped up in the air from fright, a muffled scream piercing the quiet air but no one else rushed out of the room to see what happened, and Logan was faced with two hazel eyes that were blazing with anger at scaring him

"Dude" James whispered harshly, lifting his fist in a gesture that he was about to hit Logan, but something in his face told Logan that he wouldn't go through with it "why are you up?" James questioned, the angry look in the hazel eyes vanished as quickly as it arrived, replaced with a questionable look that had Logan almost sweating through his shirt. He hadn't thought of a really good lie about why he was up, he had never been a very good liar

"I-I couldn't sleep" Logan stuttered as he moved to sit down on the sofa, tucking his knees to his chest and resting his chin on his knees, staring blankly at the telly vision willing it to magically turn on. Logan felt the sofa dig slightly

"I couldn't either. I'm worried about Kendall" as soon as James mentioned Kendall's name, Logan flinched but it was missed by James "he's still not home after" James hesitated, and when Logan looked, he was biting his bottom lip almost in regret

"After the fight you two had?" Logan questioned, knowing he hit the nail on the head. One of the ways he knew was because James had almost barreled through Logan, the other reason was because he looked a mess, the dark brown hair that was usually plump against his head was limp and lifeless, meaning that he had not kept up his usual routine the night before, or earlier on. James didn't give him a reply, so Logan kept quiet waiting for James to speak up

"I swore at Kendall, saying that he should deal with his problems on his own. T-That I didn't care about him, but that's a lie" James whispered the last part, the sentence dying on his lips, his bottom lip trembling, the hazel eyes almost pooling with tears "h-he's like my little brother and I...I said those horrible things to him" James wouldn't stop talking, the hazel eyes now becoming blank "but he wouldn't tell me anything, won't admit something and it's driving me crazy!" James screamed, jumping up from the sofa to throw the wooden table up in the air in a fit of rage

"James" Logan tried to get James out of the anger he was feeling towards Kendall, but it wasn't working

"Why can't he tell me what's wrong! What have I done to deserve such a selfish brother? I hate him!" James was screaming at the top of his lungs now, stomping around in the apartment and knocking things over with his rage

"Kendall's in the hospital" Logan muttered, but he never heard the front door open and close, nor did he see Mama Knight's small figure in the corner of his eye

"KENDALL'S IN THE HOSPITAL!" Mama Knight shrieked horrified, pausing James in his frantic temper with messing up the apartment. He had the control of the Xbox in his hands, his arm behind him as if he was about to throw the controller across the room, but Mama Knight had stopped him in his tracks with the shriek of telling James that Kendall was in the hospital. James twirled on the spot, the controller falling out of his limp hand to clatter on the floor, but it was ignored by both Logan and Mama Knight. It was like a stare off between Mama Knight and Logan

"Y-Yeah, I g-got a phone call a-about ten m-minutes ago from t-the hospital. They had tried t-to contact you Mama Knight, but there w-was no luck" Logan stuttered the whole sentence, shifting from one foot to the other feeling nervous while her eyes tore into him. Logan kept his head down, not wanting to see the disappointment in her eyes

"I knew I should have turned on my phone" Mama Knight sobbed, plunging her hand into her jean pocket to fish out her phone, pressing a series of buttons on the phone as she tried not to burst into tears. The phone bleeped once, signaling that the phone was starting to turn itself on

"It's not your fault Mama Knight" Logan soothed, starting to move towards her, but she almost looked like she would pass out from seeing something on her phone, and both James and Logan lunged for her to catch Mama Knight before she hit the floor. Gently they made her stumble to the sofa, as soon as her knees hit the sofa, she dropped into the cushions heavily, starting to heavily sob about something. She was mumbling words under her breath, barely heard by Logan, but he took her phone out of her hands gently, prying her fingers from around the metal phone, almost in fear that it would crack with pressure. The screen lit up, and Logan looked down at the screen

Seventeen missed calls, and not all of them were from the hospital

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

The I.V was removed from his his hand painfully, but not by the same scary old woman that towered over him

"Your friend will be coming to get you soon. Do you need any help with changing out of that gown?" the woman asked, this one was much nicer than the other one. She was a pretty brunette with hair that was in a high ponytail, her hair raked back away from her forehead but it was neat. She had such kind green eyes that he could have stared into them for a long time, but he refused

"Wait, my friend?" Kendall spoke up, getting up from the bed but making sure that he didn't show any private parts to the girl, he actually kept a tight grip on the back of the gown he was wearing, hating how there was a gust of wind on his butt

"Yes, a Logan Mitchell" the woman spoke, Kendall turned to look at her giving him a small, bright smile that he tried to give back, but his lips only twitched

"O-Oh" Kendall muttered, but before she could ask what was wrong, he lunged for the small bathroom, slamming the door behind him

"Your clothing is already inside the bathroom" she called from behind the door, knocking on the wood. Kendall never replied back to her, quickly trying to reach behind him to grab at a tassel, but he couldn't quite reach one, it brushed his fingertips mockingly

"Stupid thing!" Kendall hissed in annoyance, trying to reach the tassel

"Want a hand?" a voice was mocking him but at the same time it was teasing him. A hand landed on his back, Kendall couldn't help the shriek of terror that sprung out of his mouth, he lunged back against the small sink, hitting his hip on the basin keeping the distance away from the stranger

"I don't need any help" Kendall hissed, fully facing the stranger with a face looking wild with anger

The look soon vanished from his face as he noticed the person that offered to help

Logan stood there bright as day in the small light from above them, but there was an disadvantage. Kendall could see the large amount of hurt that flashed in those deep brown eyes, he withdrew from Kendall's body as if he had been burnt. Kendall tried to appologise, he even opened his mouth to start with the sentence, but Logan's eyes widened in horror, the pupils dilated to mere pinpoints, his mouth dropping open like a swinging door

"W-What happened?" Logan's hands were clamped to his cheeks with the fear Logan was probably feeling, his face going impossibly paler in colour, almost as if the pale hue to his face was drained from his face. His brown eyes wouldn't leave Kendall's green ones

"I um...I got jumped by a load of guys" Kendall tried to make it sound like he was perfectly fine with the concept of getting jumped, but inside he really wished Logan would at least blink, he was just staring at Kendall like he didn't believe what he was saying

"J-Jumped? But why?" Logan questioned in a terrified voice, almost choking on the words as they spilled from his trembling lips

"I don't know" Kendall whispered, trying once again to pull at a tassel to get out of this stupid gown he was wearing, his left hand useless in the blue cast that held his wrist and hand in one position, his palm was itchy. And to top it off, Kendall was irritated. Logan moved forwards, pulling on a tassel that Kendall couldn't reach, but he made sure that the fabric didn't fall down his body, Logan didn't speak again. Kendall quickly twisted his body around slightly so that he could see Logan from the corner of his eye, Logan had his back to him to give Kendall privacy to change

"I'll be outside" Logan called from over his shoulder, walking out of the room

* * *

Instead of walking inside without being noticed by anyone else, Kendall's body was almost knocked to the floor by a smaller figure colliding into his mid-section. The cry of pain that Kendall gave off was ignored by the person, but Logan's voice forced the person to let him go

"I was so worried Kendall" Mama Knight sounded like she was about to burst into tears as she stepped back away from Kendall, her green eyes pooling with tears that were almost ready to drip from her eyes. Her bottom lip was pouted out, trembling

"I'm sorry mum, I really am" Kendall whispered as Mama Knight reached forwards to cup Kendall's face in one of her hands, but he flinched back at the raised hand, and a look of pure confusion lit up both Logan's and Mama Knight's faces "I'm going into the shower" Kendall muttered, quickly dodging around them both to bolt for the bathroom. He slammed closed the door just as Logan got to the door, he started to crash and bang on the door, begging Kendall to open the door

"Dude please, I just want to talk" Logan begged in a timid voice, Kendall only sucked in a sharp breath, even though it hurt

"I'm honestly fine Logan" Kendall called back, begging Logan silently to walk away from the door so Kendall could relax

As soon as Kendall heard small footsteps walk away from the door, Kendall lunged towards the sink, slapping the taps to force them to gush out water, the water splashed up his arms, soaking them both as Kendall attempted to cup a handful of water. He only glanced up at the mirror, but the image reflected back at him kept him staring, the water escaped out of his open fingers, but Kendall didn't notice. His blond hair was matted to his forehead, but it did nothing to cover up the bruises that bulged out of his pale skin like a sore thumb, each bruise connected with another in some way. His lip was split in two places, one on his upper lip and another on his lower lip which had been recently opened, probably because Kendall had smiled, stretching the skin to its maximum, ripping open the flesh even more. Kendall glanced back to the shower, but decided against going into the shower, not wanting to wet the cast on his wrist, and another reason, he couldn't be bothered, he just felt so depressed about everything

Why was his life so fucked up!?

His hands were automatically going for the glass cabinet, pulling out the black bag inside slowly to make see if he wanted to reach inside the bag for the razors he knew were inside. Kendall knew that no one ever went inside this black bag.

There was nothing inside for Carlos to mess around with except about four razors that were dangerous inside, but Kendall didn't care

Logan knew that this was Kendall's bag, so he never messed inside his bag with the exception of if Kendall messed inside Logan's blue bag

There were no Cuda products inside. An easy excuse for James

"Ow" Kendall hissed, withdrawing his finger from the bag and holding his finger in a tight grip. He looked at the small droplet of blood that collected on his finger from a long cut across his fingertip, immediately sucking his finger to try to sooth the pain. Kendall's other hand plunged down into the bag, carefully patting on the bottom of the bag to make sure that he didn't cut his other finger. Smooth, cold metal brushed against his fingertip, then he knew he had found his goal of a razor. He plucked out the blade, pulling out his finger from his lips with a small 'pop' at the same time, twisting the metal in his fingers, seeing a small sliver of blood gliding down the sharp blade

_There will be more blood on the blade _

Kendall shook his head, but it was true. His fingers automatically positioned the blade against his wrist, and before he could register what was happening, he dragged the blade across the soft flesh, tracing the lines on his wrist with the blade. The blood oozed out of his wrist at the first contact, slowly beading across the small line, so Kendall dragged the blade across his wrist again, making quite a bit of blood pool out of his wrist and down his arm, because he held up his arm to see the damage he was causing

"Hey Kendall, I noticed that the shower was not on a-" Logan's sentence was cut short, drastically short as the door swung fully open because Logan's grip had loosened around the wood, Kendall almost swore out loud in anger because he had been dumb enough to not lock the door. As Kendall gazed up to look at Logan's face, what he saw made bile raise up his throat

His face was drastically paler than it had ever been, the colour practically drained away from his face faster than water going down the sink. He looked like he would pass out, his whole body trembling, his knees turned to jelly they were shaking so much

But his eyes were wide, staring down at Kendall's arms, his mouth wide open and looking like it would break off

Because Logan had caught Kendall cutting himself in the bathroom after having a phone call from the hospital, his younger brother covered in blood caused by his own hand


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Oh wow, so many reviews for this story, and followers :) I love everyone's reviews. I really hope that you are enjoying it, not just saying that :P

* * *

Logan's p.o.v

"NOO!" the words tore from Logan's throat like a battle cry, ripped right from his soul as he lunged for Kendall without his mind fully comprehending what he was doing. A sting at his fingertips did nothing to divert Logan's attention to Kendall as he knocked the silver blade, that had a long line of blood down the sharp length, out of his hands by slapping them constantly, even though the small sound of the metal clattering to the tiled floor didn't fall to Logan's ears. Logan was sprinting around the room now, as fast as he could, grabbing objects from the glass cabinet and holding them in his arms like they were his lifeline

_"No" _Logan's brain suddenly came rushing into his conscious thoughts, almost making him drop all the objects in his arms to the floor, but he managed to keep a tight hold on them all, something digging into his chest _"it's Kendall's" _the voice sounded worried, just as much as Logan was feeling, standing in the bathroom rigid still, staring ahead inside his own thoughts as his heart jack hammered inside his chest hard

"L-Logie?" Kendall's small timid voice that was nothing like the confident Kendall that Logan knew spoke, and he turned on the spot to stare at their 'unofficial leader' with his eyes wide, finally taking into account Kendall's injuries

The cuts across both of his arms were not that deep, but the red blood that glistened in the overhead light above them frightened Logan, because there was a hell of a lot of blood coated over his arms. He couldn't tell how many times Kendall had cut himself because of all the blood, but as Logan looked at Kendall's face, he noticed just how pale Kendall really was. He looked sick, a pale hue covering his entire face, and all of that information told Logan that, in fact, Kendall had been doing this for a while now, and no one had noticed. Once again all the objects in his arms almost collapsed out of his arms as they grew weak like his legs, they began to tremble, his knees knocking together, tears stinging his eyes from guilt crashing rather violently into his gut, making it clench and become uncomfortable for Logan

"K-Kendall, why?" Logan whispered brokenly, listening out for the apartment door that had opened, and Mama Knight's voice shouted out to anyone in the apartment to tell them about her presence. Logan didn't allow himself any time to hesitate, lunging for the door before his heart beat for another time and forcing the door to slam shut, making Mama Knight scream in fright, the smashing of glass not in Logan's best interest, but it had been Kendall's. Before Logan knew what was happening, he was pushed to the side, his ribs slamming into the sink from the force of the push and a blur of blond raced past him through the door before Logan could call Kendall back. An annoyed sigh escaped from Logan's lips, he twisted around to look around in the bathroom, the red stains on the yellow towels drew Logan's attention, because it was what he was really focusing on, the colour red, ignoring Kendall as he soothed his mother in a tone that he barely heard Kendall speak for a long while

The trouble was beginning, because Logan wanted answers, and he wanted them now

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

Before he spoke out to his mother, even making sure that she couldn't see him until he wanted her to, Kendall made sure that the fresh cuts that lined his arms, and the old cuts that he hid, were covered by his long sleeved shirt that somehow had managed to remain intact from blood when he was cutting himself. He bit his lip to hide a small hiss of pain when the fabric rubbed against the fresh cuts

"Mom?" Kendall spoke in a strong voice, walking around the island to catch his mother crouched on the floor, picking up shattered pieces of glass that were scattered across the floor, drenched in pickle juice

"Oh god!" Mama Knight shrieked, jumping up from her crouched position with terror filling her innocent, large brown eyes. As soon as she noticed Kendall standing there, the look of terror vanished from her face, replaced with a look of fright, her brown eyes, as much as Kendall could see, were darting to and fro around his face, trying to see what was wrong

"Are you alright?" Kendall asked, crouching on the floor to pick up the remaining pieces of glass, noting the green liquid that was still oozing from the larger piece of the glass jar that was smashed, it looked threatening even though it was green not red. The large piece of glass, which remained circular, was rolling on the floor

"Y-Yes baby, I'm alright. But the real question is, are you?" the tone was serious, and almost for a moment Kendall paused in picking up another piece of glass, his arm fully extended so his mother could see him if he paused even for a moment. Kendall couldn't let his mum see him in this weakened state, because then it would show just how weak he truly was, he never showed weakness. Never showed it when his father left them when Kendall was seven and barely old enough to understand what was happening, why his father left his mum and baby sister, he stood strong when his mother had her mental breakdown, he couldn't show any sort of weakened state to his mother, because that could cause her to have another serious breakdown

"Yeah" Kendall answered finally after a full minute of hesitating, not looking up to his mothers gaze until he heard her moving, the cracking of her knees when she bent down forced Kendall to lift his head to look into her brown eyes that were desperately trying to pick out anything that Kendall was hiding, but there was nothing in his eyes, Kendall was masking everything

"Baby, you can tell me anything" Mama Knight was soothing with her tone, the sentence almost breaking in the middle. She must have noticed the change in Kendall, but he refused to accept that he was broken by Jo

"I know mama" Kendall spoke like a seven year old child, and Mama Knight looked like she would burst into tears as he spoke those words. Her hand flew to her mouth in shock, because never had Kendall referred to his mother as 'mama' not after Kendall's father walked out of their lives for a little slut that was twenty years old. That was the first mistake Kendall ever made, because Mama Knight knew that something was wrong

"Please Kendall" Mama Knight sobbed, her bottom lip trembled as she looked up at Kendall, begging him with her eyes to tell her what was wrong "I-I know something's wrong, a-and I've not been noticing until now. But I want to know what's happened to make you change" Kendall almost knelt rigid on the floor, staring up into his mothers brown eyes that were rapidly flowing with tears, making his heart constrict with pain from keeping everything from his mother. But if he told her would she think differently of him? Think that he couldn't hold the responsibility of protecting and being the man of the house?

_"Of course she would" _the voice sneered, making its self known to Kendall, venom filled every word _"she's only had one mental break down, look how many you've had. Three, and all of them involve you cutting yourself to get rid of the pain you know won't disappear with that simple gesture, but yet you continue as if it would. She's stronger than you, your baby sister is stronger than you, that just shows how pathetic you are. You're not fit enough, emotionally ready for what's going to be thrown at you. Do everyone a favour and just kill yourself now!" _the voice shrieked the words, and Kendall's hand clenched hard around the handful of glass that he had collected from the floor, the pinch of pain doing nothing to prevent him from only clenching his hand harder to reel in the sweet release of pain that had soon become his only lifeline

"Kendall!" a loud, bellowing shriek made Kendall flinch, his hand relaxing as someone pulled hard on his fingers to release the fist he was making around the small pieces of glass, numbing down the pain slightly as fingers softly tried to brush away the remaining shards of glass out of his palm. Another figure knelt down at Kendall's side, he knew immediately that it was Logan, but Kendall didn't give him any sort of attention, didn't even glance in his direction in fear that if they held eye contact, Logan might spill what he saw in the bathroom to Mama Knight. Kendall wouldn't be able to handle the look of disappointment that would cover Mama Knight's face, so Kendall desperately pleaded, in his mind, for Logan to keep his mouth shut

"What's been getting you down buddy?" Logan's voice tried to sooth him into telling him about what was bothering him, but Kendall couldn't get his mouth to open without knowing if Logan would keep his mouth shut about catching Kendall cutting himself in the bathroom. Slowly, timidly, Kendall glanced up to look into the large, doe brown eyes that were Logan's, holding his gaze just enough for him to read all the emotions that were flashing throughout the brown eyes

Fear

Hurt

Anger

Knowledge

Disappointment, that one hurt Kendall the most, his heart clenching in his chest, his breath hitching but going unnoticed by both Logan and Mama Knight. They both were talking around Kendall, having a conversation that Kendall should have listened to, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from Logan's, because of the disappointment that flashed through Logan's eyes and Kendall caught. He felt ashamed of himself, ashamed of being caught in a weak moment in front of his older brother.

Kendall, somewhere deep inside himself, wanted Logan and everyone else to know about the trouble he was in, the abusive relationship with Jo, the apparent innocent girl that he was meant to love raising her hand to beat Kendall, even going as far as to lie to a bunch of strangers, bit strangers he might add, pretending _he _was the abusive one in the relationship

"I-I've just been feeling really down" Kendall lied through his teeth, trying not to flinch at the lie, because that would show that Kendall had lied straight through his teeth to both his own mother and Logan. He glanced up through his eyelashes, trying not to make it obvious

"Is it Gustavo?" Mama Knight questioned, raking her fingers through Kendall's hair to brush back the bangs that made up the fringe of his hair, Kendall trying not to flinch at the soothing touch. Kendall's heart began to race in his chest at the question, panic

"N-No, just stress from the band, I-I guess" Kendall stuttered, racing Mama Knight's hand to his own hair before she managed to rake her hands through his blond hair, the touch from his own mother felt like someone was burning his flesh, the flame so hot that it literally scorched him, his flesh turning into a liquid and dripping straight from his bones

He flinched at the images that were flashing through his mind, he even went as far as to look down at his arms, ignoring the light white scars that lined down both of his arms, to see if his flesh was really dripping away from his bones. Luckily there was nothing of the sort happening to him, and relief flooded through him

"Why didn't you tell us you were stressed?" Logan's timid voice spoke bluntly, like he was really hurt inside, and Kendall didn't really blame him about feeling hurt. Kendall himself knew how it felt like to be left out of something, it happened as soon as the guys and him became famous. Everyone else seemed to have less and less time to spend with Kendall, doing their own thing and completely ignoring the obvious signs that Kendall was in deep water and desperate to find a way out of drowning in his own sorrows

James was too busy keeping up his appearance, calling himself 'The Face' of Big Time Rush, applying himself to finding a girlfriend that he desperately wanted. James couldn't have known about Kendall having a serious crush on him, because he never really paid Kendall any attention unless it was for the bands sake, James even went as far as to deny their friendship because Kendall wouldn't tell James anything that was wrong with him. "Friendship was a two way street" Kendall wanted to tell James, but he kept his mouth shut about the whole thing, he let it happen

Carlos was too reckless, trying out new stunts to impress the ladies. Even though half the time the brave side of Carlos never really worked for the ladies, they pulled their faces in disgust when Carlos tended to do something silly, it never dimmed the sheer determination set inside those brown eyes of his, and it always made Kendall smile no matter what kind of mood he was in

That only left Logan, who to this point, never knew that his younger brother was suffering and cutting himself until he caught him in the bathroom in a weak moment. Kendall didn't want anyone to know about him cutting himself especially Logan, who would now be constantly watching him like a hawk to see if he would attempt to cut himself once more

Kendall had to be more careful now, more careful with hiding the bruising, cuts Jo would make to his arms to keep up the innocent act that Jo was trying, and succeeding, to play with Kendall and his family

When would they find out it was all a trick?


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Thank you so much for everyone that has given me a review for this story! I really love how everyone hates Jo for what she's doing to Kendall

Swayzee Sweatheart - Nah its not cruel, I hate Jo for doing this to Kendall. I love all of your reviews are amazing towards Jo and how much you hate her. But I hope you keep enjoying this fanfic :) I think it's my best one out of the bunch

winterschild11 - Yeah Kendall does need to tell someone about the abuse he's going through, but I guess he wants to remain the 'fearless leader' that everyone thinks he is. There's going to be a lot of angst to come towards Kendall :s sorry!

Glee Clue Rock 1251 - Thank you so much! I love the reviews that I'm getting, and the people that are following my story. I think this is my best one yet

Keep enjoying this story!

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Kendall's p.o.v

"Hello sweetheart" Jo's sweet, soothing voice knocked Kendall out of his thoughts rather violently, his head snapping back away from Jo's face because she was so close to him, large icy blue eyes that only Kendall could see, stared down at him, but instead of seeing the disgusted look deep inside Jo's eyes, he was met with a pair of blue eyes that looked sorry. His eyes automatically roamed around her eyes, searching deeper before Jo managed to hide them with a mask that would be difficult to crack

"What's up?" Kendall asked, making his voice sound stronger than he actually felt, because inside, he was a wreck of a person, shaking in the mere presence of his girlfriend, but he made sure that there was no shaking of his body

"I just wanted to talk to you" Jo moved her hand towards Kendall's, lacing their fingers together and beginning to fiddle with his fingers, brushing her delicate skin across Kendall's. He tried not to shiver with the soft contact, almost expecting her to start to punch him into the floor, but there was something different with her, a different aura that seemed to surround Jo's figure

"W-What about?" Kendall couldn't stop the stutter, he made sure that his voice was low enough for only Jo to hear, but she didn't even glance up towards him, not acknowledging that he had just spoken. Kendall knew that she was the dominant one in the relationship, and Jo knew that she had Kendall wrapped around her little finger

"About" Jo paused, glancing up at Kendall with innocent eyes "about going out for a whole weekend away, away from the Palm Woods. Away from the guys" Jo spoke low when she noticed people crossing past them, she watched them walk away

"Where would we go?" Kendall didn't want to go away from the others, he didn't want to leave the safety of his apartment because he knew that Jo would abuse him hard while they were away. But how could he say no to Jo?

"To another hotel" Jo suggested with a shrug of her shoulders, never glancing up

"Another hotel?" Kendall repeated skeptically, not liking the taste those words held on his tongue. They tasted bad, a sickly bitter taste that wouldn't go away no matter how many times he swallowed, the taste wouldn't wash out of his mouth

"Yeah you know" Jo traced his fingers across the back of his hand, towards his forearm and up his arm, making goosebumps coat his arms the second the contact was made "a room, all to ourselves. Have a special night" the last words were whispered seductively, huskily straight down his ear. Without question Kendall was wrenched to his feet by Jo, her long nails digging into his flesh as she dragged him along, past the pool, straight past the lobby, where Logan and Camille were talking, Jo blatantly ignoring Camille as she shouted Jo's name. Kendall tried to twist around to shoot Camille a smile that said I'm sorry, but Jo yanked him harder, her nails slipping in his skin, a sharp blunt pain shooting down his arm, tingling his fingertips before it disappeared, towards the elevator, the ping of the door making Kendall glance up, before he was pushed inside, Jo's body pinning him to the back of the elevator with her whole body. The look in her blue eyes was hunger, but for what, Kendall didn't know

Would it be hunger for sex?

Hunger for Kendall in pain?

He would have to go for the last one, because that seemed like the obvious choice. He ignored the butterfly kisses along his jaw line that were meant to hurt him on, but instead it sent pain, heartbreaking pain knowing that it meant nothing to her, Kendall knew that Jo really hated him, despised him, only using him as a release. The tears started to form in his eyes, prickling at the corners of his eyes before his vision blurred so much that he barely noticed Jo reaching behind him to press a button, the only reason he noticed was because of the ping the button made, the shudder of the elevator stopping dead in the air. Kendall pulled back away from Jo, blinking back the tears to really see her face

"What happened?" Kendall whispered, pushing Jo at her shoulders so that she took a few steps back away from him enough so that he could breathe. The look that shot across her face was anger, with a touch of amusement at the question. She never answered, only moving back towards the doors and leaning against them, folding her arms across her chest, a small smile crossing her lips, tilting them up. Kendall asked again, stricter

"I stopped the elevator" the tone that Jo was using was one of anger, resentment at having to explain herself to Kendall, speaking like he was an idiot "any genius could figure that out"

"Why did you stop the elevator?" Kendall asked, never giving her time to insult him more

"If I was going to hurt you, I would have done it by now" a threat, a serious one at that. Kendall knew not to question it

"So why stop the elevator" Kendall had to grit his teeth, forcing the words out of his mouth, trying not to sound angry towards Jo, the smile had dropped from her mouth as soon as Kendall had spoken. She moved quicker than a snake could strike, grabbing a handful of Kendall's shirt and shoving him hard against the wall, his ears ringing with the sheer force of his head hitting the metal behind him. His vision even blurred, his knees threatening to send him to the floor because they were shaking so badly, a cold, emotionless look deep within Jo's eyes as her upper lip curled up in a nasty snarl

"I just want to tell you something" she hissed in a dry voice, narrowing her eyes and pinning Kendall to the wall harder, her hands lost in the fabric of his shirt, her eyes burning holes in Kendall "you are coming on this trip with me. Whether you like it or not" it hung in the air, heavy enough to force all of the air from his lungs. Panic was slowly creeping into his body slowly as the doors to the elevator opened, and immediately Jo swooped into his side, linking their arms, a fake smile slithering on her face as two girls, that wore way too much make-up for their own good, stepped inside the elevator, Kendall and Jo stepping out at the same time. They never touched

The long hallway seemed to shrink to Kendall's eyes, the hallway and doors stretching out like a horror movie, haunting the one that was centered in the horror, which just happened to be Kendall. Jo was dragging him down the corridor, and for a moment her momentum started to slow down right near his door, and hope blossomed in his chest, until he was harshly dragged back into reality by a harsh yank to his arm, his head spinning

"Come on Kendall" Jo muttered in a low voice, extra giddy to get into her apartment, her hands shaking against Kendall's skin, he didn't know whether it was from wanting to have sex, or something more. His thoughts were whirling like a dangerous tornado of emotions, his eyes never settling on anything, only darting around. The opening of a door sounded some where in the blackness that threatened to enclose around Kendall's consciousness, but he ignored it for the moment, taking a deep, shaky breath to try to control the fear curling up from his stomach, threatening to send bile to raise from his throat and spill from his lips like a river. He swallowed once, twice, three times until the large lump clogging his throat made him breath that much easier. But there was a spark of pain in his knee at the back, forcing him to collapse to the floor from the harsh kick, he almost ended up face first on the carpet of Jo's apartment if he had not put his hands in front of him to stop, his fingers spread out, until a loud crack, the familiar feeling of a bone cracking in his finger echoing around his head, that was until the pain registered. Sharp and painful, Kendall bit back a scream as he quickly withdrew his left hand from the floor to clutch it against his chest, trying to squeeze the pain out of his fingers. The familiar sticky substance of blood coated his fingers, leaking through the cracks of his fingers, he didn't dare to look at the damage Jo caused to his fingers, but he didn't really have much of a choice. Before he could fully get used to the pain that was coursing right through to his fingertips, his hand was yanked from his chest, slammed to the floor only moments later and restrained there by Jo's shoe pinning his hand to the floor. His fingers were not as evenly spaced out as before, but it didn't seem to matter to Jo, because with deadly precision, she swung the bloody bat, already splattered with Kendall's blood, down on another finger of Kendall's left hand, another break as soon as the bat made contact

"Go on" Jo sneered, twisting the bat in her fingers when Kendall dared to look, an evil glint in her blue eyes as she stared down at Kendall "scream. Encourage me more to injure you" Kendall only bit his lip, clenching his right hand that was underneath his chest and out of sight away from Jo, so she couldn't see the true pain that she was putting him through

"No" Kendall snarled through gritted teeth, clenching his right hand much harder so his nails, no matter if they were short, drew blood that trickled down his palm. He didn't look up at Jo's face, because soon he was kicked rather violently in the ribs, his body flipping around so quickly his vision blacked for a moment, but he landed on his back with a small thump, his eyes slowly sliding open to stare at Jo's face, no matter how much hate rid she was throwing into her face. The bloody bat rose above her head for a moment, menacing as the blood glistened on the smooth surface of the bat, before Jo brought it down, once again with precise precision, down at Kendall's collar bone, the bone giving way to the force of the bat. Kendall's body arched with pain subconsciously, but no moan or scream of pain sounded from his lips, only a small grunt and a cough as he swallowed some blood from biting his lip much too hard, the copper taste bitter on his tongue. His left hand was just lying uselessly at his side, doing nothing but flinch once in a while, making pain flare up all down his arm, but another pain knocked his head back against the carpet, his chin going numb from the pain that rocketed across his jaw, Jo looking like a baseball player from the stance. The bat was casually resting on her left shoulder after battering Kendall one last time in the chin

"I'm bored" she spoke bored, dropping the bat behind her back with a series of dull 'thwocks' as the bat fell to the floor "you can go"

* * *

Kendall stumbled into the apartment, putting all of his strength into hitting the door to force it open, his left hand cradled to his chest, the full force against the door was done by his right side, he really didn't need to create more pain for himself. The pain was horrid, sparking and dull as it made its way up his arm slowly, numbing it as the pain went along.

Luckily, the apartment was quiet, all the lights turned off, soft snoring coming from both the doors that held three of the four boys of Big Time Rush, and Kendall was glad that no one had woken up because he was crashing and banging around in the apartment, trying to blindly search for the door to the bathroom, he didn't dare to turn on the light, because what if someone opened the door and noticed him with blood covering him? They would freak out, and Kendall couldn't deal with anyone touching him at the moment, because, even though Jo never touched him, each touch would be like a fiery inferno blasting at Kendall's skin. He shivered with the thought, pulling open the bathroom door to slink inside and shut the door moments behind him, he never locked the door

The smooth, cold surface of the sink brought Kendall back to reality, his fingers, on his right hand, were resting against the sink, not clutching, his left still safely tucked against his chest until he slowly stopped putting pressure on the wound, bringing it to his line of sight until he inhaled sharply. His middle and index finger were bloody, the skin broken and pulled back away enough so that Kendall could see the white bone poking underneath his fingers, he flinched when another wave of pain, now he knew the damage that had been inflicted, blossomed from his fingers

"Kendall? That you?" Katie's sleepy, slurred speech made Kendall flinch, lunging back towards the shower like he had been burnt. He didn't try to turn around, keeping his hand away from the sight of his little sister, who stood, well, he didn't know how close she was standing

"Y-Yeah its me, little sis" Kendall spoke, ignoring the slight stutter "go back to bed, you look tired" Kendall tried to make himself seem tired. It was the wrong words to use though

"How can you tell when you've not looked at me" her words were no longer slurred sleepily she must have been fully awake, curious enough to waken fully. Kendall did turn around to look at his little sister, keeping his left hand behind his back so she couldn't see. Her eyes widened in horror, her bottom lip trembling, her mouth opening and closing as if she was about to speak

"What?" Kendall didn't like how Katie was staring at him, so he glanced left at the mirror, and twirled to look at himself fully. Underneath his chin was a large red mark, smooth and circular, but it looked like it hurt, it would definitely bruise. Kendall instinctively rose his left hand to brush his fingers along the bruise, but instead he forced his hand back down

"Looks like it hurts" Katie put bluntly, but there was another emotion that Kendall heard, curiosity, willing Kendall to tell her about what had happened. It was in her eyes when Kendall looked back to his sister to talk to her, pretend that everything was okay with him when, in all honesty, Kendall was breaking inside with all the pressure. Large, doe brown eyes, that did not look sleepy now, stared into Kendall's green ones, they held contact for a long time, neither one of them wanting to look away. Unfortunately, Kendall looked away, raising his right hand to run his fingers through his hair, a small sigh escaping from his lips

"It does" Kendall laughed, but it was hollow, dry, emotionless as it came out of his mouth, completely fake, sounding nothing like he would normally laugh, and Katie must have caught on. She didn't say anything, other than a small sigh of her own, her arms crossing over her chest, shifting her weight onto another leg

"I will find out what's happening Kendall" Katie threatened "and when I do, they won't mess with you again" with no other words, Katie twirled around on the heels of her feet, stomping out of the bathroom, slamming the door hard behind her

Had Katie figured out that Kendall was getting abused?

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Disclaimer: Whoa, where did the scene with the bat come from?

But anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and the Kendall angst!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Hey guys! Hope you are enjoying my fanfic! Gosh I feel so horrible about breaking Kendall's fingers :s But I'm glad that you enjoyed. Sooo, will Katie figure out what's happening to her older brother? And if so, will she try to stop the abuse herself? Or try to get the guys to understand? You'll have to find out

Also, if you have not read my other fanfics, I have signed up to do a princes trust thing. That means, for 12 weeks, I will be putting most of my time into the project! I will honestly try to update as often as I can, so please don't think I'm forgetting about you :D

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Kendall's p.o.v

The next few days were hard on Kendall, and it was not only because Jo was constantly on his tail now after mentioning that they would go out for a weekend, she didn't mention which one they would go to, to a hotel he meant, so they could spend a weekend away for a 'romantic weekend, just the two of us'

Katie was constantly watching him with her large brown eyes that seemed to always burn holes into his back. Simply shrugging off the look was difficult to ignore as he was eating his breakfast at the island, trying to hide the pain in his face because his fingers were throbbing, keeping his face neutral was getting more difficult the more his fingers throbbed, growing numb with pins and needles prickling at his fingertips

"Kendall, are you not hungry?" Mama Knight's voice startled Kendall, making him jump a foot in the air, bashing his knee against the table as his knee jerked as if someone hit the reflex right below his knee. Everything rattled as Kendall hit the table, the glasses of juice fell to the floor, spilling the contense upon the surface, spoons shook, milk spilled from Carlos' bowl because he filled it almost to the top, stating that 'he wanted to be as tall as Kendall and James, so he needed to drink more milk' a large smile on his face until Kendall jumped. Now it was looking scared. The spoon in Kendall's right hand clattered to the floor after bouncing on the table twice

"God" Kendall cursed, jumping back from the table as the orange juice and milk dribbled off the side of the table, dripping onto Kendall's shorts, making it look like he had peed his pants. When he looked up at the others, brushing his pants, his hand paused half way, green eyes met ten pairs of eyes looking worried, their mouths opening and closing to ask questions. But the apartment door opened slowly, Jo poking her head through the small gap and giving off a small smile, not towards Kendall

"Hey!" Jo whispered, stepping into the room and finally looking towards Kendall, who had frozen in the middle of walking towards his room he shared with James, wanting to get out of his wet pants and boxers. He shivered unconsciously at the look

"I'll be out in a minute" Kendall laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck in both embarrassment and fear using his right hand, glancing down towards the floor "had a little accident with milk and juice" he made sure that Jo knew that he had not pissed himself, but she was biting her lip trying not to laugh at him. Flushing in embarrassment, Kendall sprinted to his room, slamming the door hard behind him

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Katie's p.o.v

She stared at the bedroom door that Kendall had sprinted through moments ago, a worried look, that was hidden, glittering in her doe brown eyes. Katie's breakfast was the only one that had not ended in disaster, because she had almost finished hers, the only thing left was milk remaining at the bottom of the bowl, slightly rippling because it had been disturbed

"Err, do you guys mind if I stay here until Kendall comes out of the bedroom?" Jo asked, a small sweet, sarcastic smile on her lips, Katie noted with horror. There was something about Jo that Katie didn't like, it was like she was hiding something dark, a secret that only Jo and Kendall knew. It scared Katie to realise that Jo was acting quite fake to being around her and the others, putting on fake smiles and a cheerful tone that had Katie cringing in her seat, she almost mentally slapped herself at realising how stupid she had been not taking any notice of her older brother. James had almost said that Jo was able to stay in the apartment, but Katie spoke up before anyone else could

"No" Katie snarled stubbornly like a teenager would, stomping towards the door to wrench it open hard and wide, pointing so Jo got the point to walk through the door before Katie started to scream for her to leave. Unfortunately Jo only stood frozen on the spot, looking like a deer trapped in the headlights

"W-What?" Jo stuttered, her face paling, eyes widening as she watched Katie, who only jerked her head towards the open door again, a growl ready on her tongue to use incase Jo tries anything

"Katie!" Mama Knight hissed, her face flushed red at the cheekbones as her brown eyes darted left and right, a small, fake laugh trying to lighten up the room. But everyone had frozen on the spot at Katie being so rude to Jo. James had dropped the bowl in his hand that he was about to put into the sink, it smashed upon contact with the floor, but it went unnoticed by everyone, even Mama Knight

"She can't stay in the apartment!" Katie whined in a childish voice, stomping her foot to make her point known

"What the hell is going on?" Kendall shouted, bolting into the room and standing next Katie and trying to get her away from the door, but Katie stood strong, gripping the door hard so it was harder for Kendall to drag her away. Kendall started to try to pry her fingers away from the wood, Katie only gripped the wood tighter, a small growl low in her throat at Kendall's stupid attempt

"Please don't go with Jo" Katie whispered, grabbing Kendall's shirt in a tight grip, pulling him close so there almost nose-to-nose so that Katie could whisper those words into his ear, her tone sounding terrified and close to tears. When Kendall tried to pull away from her to whisper something, Katie only pulled him back so the others didn't see Katie's eyes filling with tears "please Kendall. I know what she's been doing" Katie muttered the last part when she noticed someone approaching them, Jo. Her steps were small as she approached, Kendall however, didn't move

"Kendall sweetheart?" Jo asked, touching Kendall on the shoulder and shaking him very lightly, suddenly Katie snarled, a primal sound ripped from her throat as she pushed Jo away from Kendall hard by the shoulder, immediately standing in front of him to block anything Jo wanted to do to Kendall. Everyone looked terrified at the new Katie, but her eyes were glued to Jo's blue eyes, that looked more angry than shocked to Katie, she didn't like that. Her mouth, however, was wide in shock at how Katie had snarled to protect her brother, and Katie felt her heart swelling in pride with being the only one protecting Kendall

"K-Katie, please" Kendall stuttered, touching Katie lightly on the shoulder, only for Katie to shrug off his hand with anger, she never turned around, because some part of her knew that Kendall would try to act as if everything was okay with his life "everything is fine" Kendall laughed, but Katie knew it was a hollow sound, fake as it spat out of his mouth. Katie felt anger bubble in her stomach, she couldn't control it, it was like a large fire in her stomach, just waiting to explode in a fiery explosion of emotions, and she twirled around to face Kendall

"I can't believe you!" Katie bellowed angrily, her brown eyes flashing with anger "I'm trying to help but you just push me away! I hate you Kendall! I wish you were never my brother!" Katie choked out the last part, tears streaming down her cheeks as she pushed past Kendall, almost throwing him into the wall with the hard shove, she only bolted out of the room in a fit of tears

* * *

James' p.o.v

James was the only one to react to Katie bolting out of the room, chasing after the youngest Knight as he called her name, holding the door open when Katie attempted to slam the door in his face. James grunted under the strain Katie was using to try to force the door closed

"Katie" James gritted out, pushing harder against the door and thinking about how strong Katie was when she was angry

"No! Leave me alone James!" Katie yelled back, shoving the door hard enough, because James was not paying attention as he was replaying what Katie had said before through his mind, so that it slammed shut, almost trapping James' fingers. Luckily though, James snatched his fingers back from the frame, shaking his hand as if the fingers had been trapped, almost going to suck on the fingertips

"Katie?" James whispered against the wood of the door, tapping lightly on the door to try to encourage Katie to open the door and tell him what the matter was. James was not an idiot, he saw the sheer amount of annoyance and anger that flashed across the youngest Knight, an emotion that had never been so furious before, she was like a small lioness, ferocious and just waiting to strike at a threat...

...Wait. Did Katie think that Jo was a threat towards someone? That person being Jo! And the one she was protecting was Kendall?

His mouth dropped open in shock, his knuckles inches away from knocking on the door again, slowly dropping from the door. A question was forming on his tongue, he took a deep breath to scream the question, but the door swung open, Katie's small hand gripping his wrist and yanking him inside before he could breathe. Everything was blurred with the quickness of Katie yanking him inside, but James shook his head to get rid of the feeling, blinking a couple of times to get his head on straight

"Shh!" Katie hissed before James could say anything, shoving her index against James' lips to keep him quiet, her brown eyes darting around like she was going to whisper something secret

"Waogy gashish osdf" James tried to mumble the words from behind Katie's finger, but it sounded like he was talking gibberish, even Katie looked puzzled

"I don't like Jo" Katie whispered, removing her finger from James' lips to allow him to speak, he took the moment to listen to Katie instead of talking about himself "there's something about her that just creeps me out" Katie shuddered, hugging herself and looking smaller than James liked to see her. Her brown eyes were darting left and right, a nervous energy seemed to consume around her, making the area around Katie drastically cold, dark. James really did not like that

"What's wrong with Jo?" James knitted his eyebrows together in confusion, walking towards Katie's bed to sit at the foot of the bed, dipping it enough for Katie to lean left into James' shoulder. He took the chance to wrap a protective arm around Katie, making sure not to baby her too much

"Something's going on in-between Kendall and Jo" Katie muttered, scratching her cheek in deep thought "I can't seem to put my finger on it" she began to tap her chin, pouting her lips with thinking, James only smirked

"OW!" Kendall's voice shrieked loudly across the apartment, shaking both James and Katie from thinking too hard, they both jumped up from the bed, Katie faster than James, they both immediately bolted into the living room to see what the matter was

Kendall was clutching his fingers of his right hand, his face twisted in a grimace, his fingers bloody, the blood leaking from in-between his fingers. James only stood shocked, as much as Jo was, her face white with the shock, her fingertips were coated with blood, James could only guess it was Kendall's. Katie began to growl again, James flinched, backing away from Katie slightly because he was nervous. When James glanced at the smaller girl, he had to take a double look. Her small figure was trembling violently, not from fear like James first thought, but it was actually anger the more James looked. Her face was red, her neck going into the neck of her shirt

"Kendall!" Logan was screaming Kendall's name, trying to pry his fingers away from his chest so he could check them, but Kendall hissed in pain, twisting out of the grip Logan was trying to hold

"Kendall, let me have a look" Jo's voice shattered any silence that the room tried to have, and unfortunately, Katie moved before Jo could come two feet near Kendall. She jumped in-between the two, throwing out her arms to shield Kendall, she never turned around

"Let Logan look at you fingers, big bro" Katie sounded much more grown up than anyone had heard in a long time, it was strict with the right amount of kindness to make Kendall relax slightly, his hand slowly going towards Logan. As soon as Logan touched Kendall's fingers, he hissed, his fingers coated in Kendall's blood as Logan turned over Kendall's fingers, showing everyone the damage. James' gut clenched as the bones in Kendall's hand were easily seen through the bright red blood

"His index and middle finger are broken" Logan muttered, still twisting his fingers "I don't know what damaged them, but he needs to go to the hospital" Logan stated

James turned to look at Jo, as if his eyes were dragging them towards her because of Katie's words

_"Theres something about her that creeps me out" _those words kept replaying inside James' head, but there was nothing on Jo's face to tell James that she had done anything to hurt Kendall, she looked purely terrified at the fact that she hurt her boyfriend

* * *

If James had taken a second look towards Jo, he would have seen the hate rid flash in her eyes when Jo looked in Kendall's direction

He completely missed the small sadistic grin that slithered onto Jo's face the moment no one looked her way

She was going to make Kendall pay


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed my story :) And thanks to WritersLife3 for the idea of a plot twist! Yeah, I'm sorry if it seemed to drag on a little, I just didn't want to give too much away too fast. That's a problem I usually have

And a really really special shout out to iWasDumbSorry for taking time off her busy schedule to listen to my idea for the plot twist! I really struggled with an idea for a plot twist, I just hope it's good enough for everyone. So I'm a little nervous. Please be gentle

I'm sorry about the long wait, I've tried to figure out a really good plot twist! Hope this is good enough!

* * *

James' p.o.v

He sat on the metal chairs in the waiting room of the hospital slouched, untidy, something James Diamond never did. He barely had any time to get changed or run to the bathroom, not with Kendall hissing in pain and bleeding quite badly from his fingers while everyone else watched Logan try to stem the bleeding until they got to the hospital. Logan had looked horrified at the amount of blood that coated Kendall - And Logan's - fingers from such a simple break to his fingers, Logan just couldn't explain why he was bleeding so badly. Nothing could explain why Kendall was bleeding so badly, no one could think back to the accident that left Kendall with two badly mangled fingers

"He will be okay right James?" James expected the timid voice to be Katie's, who was sitting next to him playing with her fingers - but never the index or middle finger, the wounds Kendall had were too fresh in her mind - the last time James took time from staring at the wall to look at the younger Knight with sympathy. It was always one of the guys that ended up going to the hospital for some sort of injury, leaving everyone else waiting for the news of how they were. Katie was always there with her mother, who was not here at the moment, just as scared of the situation with one of the guys. The only difference between Mama Knight and Katie was that Katie managed to hide the fear she was feeling underneath a mask, even if it was her brother on the bed, it was just a strong Knight thing. She learnt the trait from Kendall, watching him with hawk eyes

"It will be okay Katie" James muttered the words, lifting his arm to slowly pull Katie towards him...

But Katie was glaring at him, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, the same look was inside those doe brown eyes that were nothing like Kendall's

"I didn't say anything" Katie snorted at James' stupidity, wounding him just a bit. He hated to see Katie like this, sheltered from her emotions and the situation at hand. Maybe she was still hurt about Kendall pushing her away, James knew that he felt the sting of jealously of Jo constantly keeping Kendall to herself, but another part of James hated Kendall for always going to Jo every day like it was his routine

But those words Katie said were bouncing off the walls of him mind, demanding to be known

_"THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HER THAT CREEPS ME OUT!" _they shrieked inside his mind like a broken record, only playing those words over and over again until his lips moved with the sentences. His hazel eyes glanced up towards Jo, watching her as she paced the length of the hallway they were forced to sit, biting her fingernails with the worry everyone in the room was feeling. Her blue eyes wouldn't rest on anything in the room, they continued to dart to and fro around the room, only glancing into James' eyes once before instantly darting away. But when James caught a proper glance of her blue eyes, they held something deep within them, a secret that made her eyes dart around the room in fear of others finding out

_"Everyone has secrets James" _James scolded himself mentally, tightening his hands into fists to stop them from violently shaking at his sides. He couldn't show how much he scared for Kendall

"Come and sit down Jo" Logan coaxed Jo with a soothing tone of voice, waving his hand towards the chair he was sitting in with an arch movement of his whole arm. He stood up instantly to allow Jo to collapse into the chair with an exhausted sigh, flashing Logan a kind smile that seemed a little inappropriate in James' eyes, but he ignored the small gesture because Jo was probably seeking some sort of kindness from someone. It was her boyfriend that was in the hospital bed clutching his fingers while doctors plaster them together and check for any other injuries

"This is your fault" Katie suddenly snapped our of the blue, shooting out of the chair to stomp right in front of Jo where she sat on the chair. Katie's face was murderous, bright red in colour with an angry look plastered on her face. James, unknown to himself, actually flinched back away from Katie, scooting the chair slightly to the right so that he wouldn't be in the firing range of Katie's anger

"I-I'm sorry?" Jo stuttered, leaning back so the back of her head was touching the wall behind her, Jo's whole body becoming stiff with fright as Katie leaned forwards to never allow a certain amount of space to leave between them. No one dared to get in-between Katie while she was this angry

"Katie!" Mama Knight's shrill scream made everyone jump out of their seats, most of the doctors and nurses twirled around to look at the distressed mother who screamed their daughter's name, but no one made a move to get between them. Previously in Mama Knight's arms were bags of crisps, one for each of them, now they were scattered on the floor from her seeing Katie threatening someone, leaning in close so that it was only Jo that could hear the words. Katie was yanked back away from Jo by her arm, Mama Knight's hand tightly holding Katie's arm above her elbow as she never let go in fear of Katie trying to threaten Jo again

"You know we don't blame others for the condition someone is in" Mama Knight hissed in a low voice, James had to strain to hear what was being said, and he was the closest after Logan, who went drastically pale in the face. Katie's face, however, remained the bright red it was when she had threatened Jo with it being her fault that Kendall was in the hospital

"It is her fault though!" Katie defended herself stubbornly, crossing her arms as much as she could with Mama Knight's hand still clasped around her arm "she did that to Kendall"

A collection of horrified gasps assaulted the air, the loudest being Jo's. Katie didn't look at all bothered about the statement she spat out, only glancing at Jo before tipping up her nose like a spoilt brat to finish the look. When James looked, Jo's blue eyes were filling with tears, some falling from her eyes as she blinked furiously to stop them from falling

"Katie!" Mama Knight hissed again, pushing Katie towards Jo. James knew what was going to happen "apologise to Jo this instant!"

"No!" Katie screamed, wrenching her arm back from Mama Knight's hand "you never listen to me when I'm trying to tell you something!" Katie screamed in a distressed, angry tone, stomping her foot on the floor like a child that wouldn't get their own way. This reaction was not the one James was expecting from Katie, he expected Katie to put up a small fight and soon say she was sorry for the things she said, not to practically lash out with her words like Kendall would. James didn't know Katie had it in her to spit out those harsh words to Jo, who was just sitting there with a scared look plastered on her face, her eyes wide and terrified

"I always listen, sweetheart" Mama Knight cooed to try to calm Katie down, but there was an undertone of anger that was easily detected by everyone in the room, the atmosphere so tense someone could easily cut through it like a hot knife through butter. James' stomach growled, demanding to be known because it was hungry, James only clutched at his stomach to try to muffle the sound, blushing dark red

"No you don't" the emotionless tone of Katie's voice had everyone worried, but soon the door they wanted to swing open finally opened to show Kendall. He walked out of the room casually as if nothing was wrong, his left hand in his hair in embarrassment because he had to get him to the hospital for something as stupid as broken fingers. The fingers of his right hand, which he had used during breakfast but no one noticed, were now tied together in a lot of plaster and tape to keep them together until they mended. The plaster was bulky, easily seen resting against Kendall's leg as he tried to hide his broken fingers from the sight of everyone

"Mrs Knight?" the doctor asked with a kind voice

"I'm Mrs Knight. Is everything alright?" there was worry in Mama Knight's voice, a tissue twirled around in her fingers while she was worrying for Kendall

"Yes everything is alright. His fingers were quite severely broken, how, we do not know" the doctor scanned the sea of faces, eventually landing on James'. Their eyes locked, and for a moment it seemed like the doctor was only looking at James to see if it had been him that broke Kendall's fingers, a scrutinising gaze from the doctor

"Can he come home?" Carlos asked instead of Mama Knight, his chocolate-brown eyes looking hopeful of his brother coming home

* * *

Katie's p.o.v

She stood in the background only half listening to the conversation going on in-between the doctor and the rest of the group. All her attention was on watching Kendall's reactions to see if anything screamed at her to notice, like his body language. Even though she didn't know much about it, the current way Kendall was standing, sort of like he didn't belong in the group switching leaning on one foot then the other, she knew - felt it in her bones - that something was really wrong with her brother

"Me and you are going to have a serious talk when we get home, young lady" Mama Knight whispered, dragging Katie closer so that she only heard what was being said

"Mum its alright" Kendall came to Katie's rescue, flashing a smile at their mother to try to sweeten her up "she's just being protective over me, right, baby sister?" Kendall's green eyes stared straight into hers, wanting her not to say anything negative about what was happening

"No, I don't like Jo" Katie spoke stubbornly, completely ignoring Kendall's attempt to try to get Katie off the hook. If he was going to ignore her attempts to help Kendall from the abuse Jo was giving him, then she wouldn't accept any help from him. A small smile slithered on her face the moment the words came dashing out of her mouth, a smile that was smug

As they walked out of the hospital, Katie still held the smug smile on her face even though the tight pressure of Mama Knight's hand on her forearm was blood-stoppingly tight, it felt good to be the bad girl. Kendall lagged behind with Jo...

..But as Katie went back, remembering the time when she was really close to Jo's pale face, had she seen the faint outlines of bruises hidden underneath the horrible foundation make-up she was wearing - which was one shade too dark for Jo's skin colour - to cover them up? Had Kendall done that, and pretended that Jo had beaten him up?

_"No!" _Katie shouted in her head suddenly, making herself jump, because this was her subconscious talking _"Kendall wouldn't hurt anyone, especially after the abuse he went through with dad" _

A wailing of police sirens assaulted the air, piercing the silence and sounding incredibly close to where they were. Katie kept twisting in her mother's grasp to try to see the bright neon blue lights of the sirens to see what was happening, never turning around to glance behind her until it was too late. There was a horrific _'slam' _of a head connecting to metal, the sirens now behind Katie as she yanked her arm away from her mother to fully turn to look behind her to see what was happening, and almost collapsed to her knees the moment she realised what was happening

Two police officers had Kendall pinned to the bonnet of their police car with their bodies to keep him still as if he was a threat, his arms pinned behind him impossibly high behind his back, his shoulders hunched and looking uncomfortable, but Kendall remained frozen in what looked like shock at what was happening. One of the police men were spouting words too quickly for Katie to hear, she caught most of the words though

"Under arrest for the abuse of Jo Taylor" "Going into rehab to help with getting his anger under control" were the words that stuck out like a sore thumb in Katie's mind as the other police woman this time handcuffed Kendall's hand together to stop him from lashing out at anyone

"W-What?" Kendall rasped in a horrified squeak, never trying to break out of the hands that were trying to guide him into the police car quite violently, pushing and shoving him towards the back of the car

"Wait! Stop!" Katie screamed at the two police officers, pushing past everyone to get to Kendall, to try to explain the situation and tell them that they were arresting the wrong person for abuse, but someone grabbed hold of her shirt, pulling her back and restraining her against a solid chest. She could only guess it was James

"No, please!" Kendall shouted but never twisting out of their grasp "I-I didn't do anything towards Jo! Please, guys, you gotta listen to me! I'm telling the truth!" Kendall tried to plead with everyone to believe him, and inside Katie's heart she believed her brother when he shouted those words. They managed to get Kendall inside the car, holding the back of his head to make sure that he didn't bang his head. No one moved to stop the police officers to release Kendall, they believed the police when they blamed Kendall for abusing Jo. Katie couldn't see their faces with her eyes, but she could imagine the amount of hurt and anger that would cross over each face in turn as the realisation of what was happening in front of them hit home. James' hand squeezed Katie's shoulders tightly in anger, pinching the skin

But in Katie's mind, the bruises on Jo's face continued to flash in her mind

Making her think twice about if Kendall was actually getting abused by his girlfriend

She couldn't deny the evidence that stared at her straight in the face


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Well I'm guessing that people may be a little annoyed at me for not updating as often as I could have been. But I'm so sorry! Now that this course has finished, I can finally start concentrating on fanfics more now. I hope this chapter is good enough for everyone

It's probably going to be mostly Kendall's p.o.v because of what happened in the last chapter!

* * *

"Mr Knight" the sudden voice made Kendall jump out of his skin, twisting in his seat for the origin of the voice. He was met with a police officer that was as skinny as a rake, but didn't look like he could easily be brought down if someone rugby tackled him

Not like Kendall was actually thinking about doing that, especially how the police thought Kendall was going to act. Thrashing out and trying to escape would only make him look guilty, and Kendall was already in enough trouble as it is, not mentioning the whole 'Kendall being innocent' into the equation. No, Kendall sat as still as he could, watching the officer pull the chair across from him away from the table, throwing a file - which was not too think, but Kendall could see a few pictures inside the yellow folder - onto the shiny surface. It almost skidded all the way over to Kendall, but the officer stopped it before it could, slamming down his hand on top of the folder. This was probably to scare Kendall, to make him jump out of his seat and look like he was guilty of the abuse he was charged with

He barely flinched, and the look on the officers face was stone-like, showing barely any emotions except anger towards him, because he was apparently 'abusing' Jo. Obviously they were not very good police officers, because they couldn't see the signs that actually, it was the other way around. That Kendall was the one being abused

"Do you know why you're here, Mr Knight?" the officer asked in a voice that sounded too much like he was mocking Kendall. He was clicking the pen in his right hand while staring at Kendall with acussing blue eyes

"I do" Kendall's voice was much stronger than he thought it would, never stuttering but loud enough for the officer to hear. The officer rolled his eyes, scribbling something down on the paper that made Kendall start to squirm in his seat with fear. He didn't like this room, it was a disgusting stained yellow colour - looking too much like a prisoner had pissed all over the walls and they washed it out with water - and that stupid clock was sharply ticking away, almost sounding like it was counting down his death. It was too loud in the room

"You said while we were arresting you that you were 'innocent'. Do you still believe this? Without seeing the evidence I'm about to show you?" the officer's voice had turned to sharp steel, almost cutting Kendall down to size just with those words

What evidence were they going to show Kendall?  
"Y-Yes" Kendall flinched as the stutter was making itself known, looking like he was becoming nervous from seeing the evidence. Without another word, the officer pulled open the file, loudly sorting out the pictures inside before carefully placing them in front of Kendall, one by one

The first image was Jo's face, pale and drawn. The thing Kendall noticed was her deep blue eyes looking sad, depressed as she stared into the camera, small tears in the corners of her eyes - Kendall knew these were fake, crocodile tears was a better word - Her bottom lip was slightly pouted with the sadness she was putting on, because it was a picture and them not speaking to Jo, it looked real.

The second image was a close up to one of the small bruises on her cheek, the one that Jo sustained before she took Kendall to get beaten up by a load of jocks. It was only along the jawline, purple in colour and not really looking too angry

The third image was probably the worse one they would show Kendall, the look on the officer's jaw was tight, his blue eyes staring straight at Kendall to watch his reaction. Didn't they think that he inflicted the wounds on Jo? If that was the case, didn't they think that he would have already seen the bruises and horrible marks? Kendall looked away down at the picture when they made eye contact, his breath hitching in his throat at the image. There was a large, horrible bruise that looked very angry against the creamy skin of Jo's neck, that looked like a big hand had wrapped around her neck with a lot of force. Kendall's eyes went to his own hands, seeing if his own hands were large enough to compare to the bruise.

"T-This wasn't me" Kendall pointed towards the last picture, but it was pulled away from his hand before his finger touched

"The evidence before you reads otherwise, Mr Knight" the officer spoke with a voice filled with annoyance

"I would never hurt Jo" Kendall whispered, clenching his fists on the table, desperate for the tears not to flow

"Yet Jo herself came to us and insisted that her boyfriend was abusing her. With, I might add, bruises on her face. I can't see any sort of mark on your body Mr Knight" the officer, which Kendall still didn't know the name of, was looking at him with a massive smile on his face. Kendall sat stunned at the stupidity of everyone, even though Kendall was not flinching at their touch

"Jo is lying! Can't you see that!" Kendall stood up violently, really not helping his cause to try to make it look like he was actually the innocent one. The chair behind him squealed on the tiles, almost tipping over from the ferocity of the push, however, the officer's face pulled into a large smile, flipping through the pages inside the file until he pulled out a piece of paper

"Really?" the officer spoke sarcastically, raising his eyebrows in a mocking way "because I have a statement from her, written in her handwriting to prove it. You gave no sort of proof, didn't come to us during the abuse you claim you went through" Kendall was stunned into silence, wracking his brain for a smart comeback, anything to shut them up and let him go. But there was nothing except that stupid clock ticking away

"Where would I have gone to?" Kendall questioned in a quiet voice, lowering his eyes to the shiny table so he didn't see their reaction "would you have believed me if I came over and said I was being abused by my girlfriend? Would I have been laughed at over it?"

The officer sighed, rustling some papers and placing them on the table and sliding them towards Kendall. Kendall almost rolled his eyes at what the papers contained

They were giving information about where a person can go for help if they were in an abusive relationship. Where was this information to the public? Instead of giving it him while he was in trouble?

"Where could I have gotten this information? It's not that easily found!" Kendall spat through gritted teeth, pushing the paper away from him, forcing it to flutter to the floor off the side of the table. No one bothered to try to pick it up

"It's easily found Mr Knight, you were just not looking. Nor would you give this poster to Jo if you found it, this is easily proven" he pointed to the pictures, out of reach to Kendall

"I never touch Jo. You can ask anyone, ask my mother, ask Katie my sister, ask the boys. They will tell you that I never touched Jo, never in the relationship" Kendall sat down in the chair, pulling it close to the table

"The look on Jo's face tells us differently. A lot of people have looked over the image, and they all agree that she looks like she's in both physical and emotional pain, both caused by a male, because of the large hand marks around her neck"

"She's an actress" Kendall pointed out matter of factly, his voice starting to chock up because he almost knew they didn't believe him "she can easily fake an emotion"

"No one can fake this amount of pain" the officer spoke, almost snarling his own words in anger. Spittle flew out of his mouth onto the table, but he didn't cast another look towards it, his eyes only glaring right at Kendall with a look that could kill. Kendall however, tried not to flinch under the intense glare, those deep blue eyes were too much like Jo's when she got angry at him. He ended up looking away first, slumping in the chair to make him look as small as he could, being submissive

_"She doesn't need to fake it" _Kendall thought to himself _"She's a great actress, with everyone under her thumb" _

Kendall missed the question the officer shot at him, his head snapping up with such force that he almost gave himself whiplash. His eyes were wide with question, staring into the blue eyes to make him repeat the question, it seemed to only make the smile broaden on the officers face

"You seem to look quite guilty after that question Mr Knight. Or did you not hear my question?"

"I-I didn't hear what you said" Kendall answered honestly, watching those blue eyes scan Kendall's green eyes before settling. He was quiet for a moment, slightly slumping in his own chair and crossing his arms over his chest, deep in thought. He tapped his index finger on the sleeve of his jacket, the noise soft and barely heard, it only was because it was so silent in the room that a small pin falling to the floor would have been much louder

"It doesn't matter" the officer spoke at last, the tapping stopped only for a moment while Kendall and the officer in front of him seemed to be locked in a staring contest. The officer once again won, Kendall not having the courage to keep eye contact with him. The door opened, slowly and precariously as another man stepped into the room, never giving Kendall any eye contact

"I'm Officer Evans" Evans introduced himself, but still his hazel eyes didn't give Kendall any sort of eye contact, only towards the man sitting directly of Kendall "this is Officer Lambert, I know he didn't introduce himself"

"I-I didn't do anything, I-I don't even know why I'm being questioned" he tried to plea with Evans, to get his own word in before he started to question Kendall on everything

"That's not what the evidence says, Kendall Knight" Evans reached down for the folder on the table, flicking through while flicking his tongue. Kendall knew that the evidence was heavily against him, it was like a tower leaning too heavily on Kendall's left side, dragging him down to hell, probably where he belonged

"I-I..." Kendall didn't have any other words, he stared into the hazel eyes of Evans, watching him scan the pages

"I think this interview is finished, Evans" Lambert snarled, raising up from his seat and heading towards the door. He barely gave Kendall another look, his hand resting on the doorknob, his body slightly twisted to look at his partner, who looked just as shocked as Kendall was feeling. The file looked like it would fall out of Evans hand, it was just perched on his fingertips, his mouth open with the shock

"W-Wait" the file fell to the floor, pages scattered across the floor, but no one paid any notice "we can't just end the conversation like that, not without letting Kendall have his say" Evans was actually letting Kendall defend himself, but Lambert remained stubborn as hell, shaking his head and twisting the handle of the door violently enough to wrench it from the door frame

"I won't let bastards like him get away with abusing innocent people. Even if he is famous" Lambert snarled heavily with venom, his tone deadly to anyone who was close. Evans actually flinched back away from Lambert, taking two steps back

There was a look in Lambert's eyes that no one wanted to mess with. It was like a fire was blazing inside his blue eyes, contrasting against the deep blue that was his eye colour. His upper lip was raised in a snarl, showing the pure white of his teeth

"I-I know your daughter was once abused by her boyfriend, Lambert. But Kendall may be telling the truth, maybe...maybe this Jo girl is actually the person doing all the abusing?" Evans, by what Kendall could tell by, was trying to get both sides of the story, wanting Kendall to have an equal chance. But Lambert was having none of it, shaking his head violently

"No, I don't believe a single word he says. He's lying to save his own pathetic skin!" Lambert screamed like a child, slamming the door back against the wooden frame, showing his anger "Guards!" Lambert shouted "take Mr Knight, you know where to take him"

* * *

Their grip was tight as they led him down the corridors which seemed to go on forever. They were pulling at his skin, yanking his shirt to force him to walk faster - because apparently him practically having to run to keep up with them was not enough - making it rile up and tighten up around his throat. He tried to loosen the clothing, moving his handcuffed wrists to tug at his shirt cutting off his air supply. They only tugged harder, Lambert the one that was dragging Kendall along the corridor, the light from the doors shining in Kendall's eyes, but there were hushed voices on the other side, a small flash of light putting white spots in Kendall's vision

"Hide your face" Evans voice, which Kendall recognised instantly considering that he was the only one that tried to stop Lambert from sending Kendall to...

...Well Kendall didn't know where they were taking him, it was quite worrying. His heart was pounding in his chest, almost making it burst out of his chest, easily seen by everyone. His palms were sweating, his fingertips sliding around his palms as he tried to relax, that was until someone decided to yank his head down harshly, his fringe hiding his eyes away from outside. Something was thrown over his head, blocking out the light and most of his face, but not the sounds

As soon as the doors were open, it went frantic with different voices. A lot of people were shouting questions, screaming his name. The police officers who were escorting him outside made him walk quicker, grabbing his clothing in tight bunches so that they had a good grip on him, but it hurt Kendall. He hissed in pain, trying to twist out of their grip, however Lambert ushered him down the steps, trying to shield him away from their questions. But one question almost froze Kendall on the spot

"Are the rumours true? The ones where you were abusing Jo Taylor?"

* * *

James' p.o.v

_"Breaking news_

_Kendall Knight, one of the many boys from Big Time Rush, has just been seen leaving the police department looking too guilty for his own good. The police refused to allow anyone to be able to see Kendall's face, nor speak to him to see if the rumours are true_

_Unfortunately, Jo Taylor, the actress found in New Town High, has been abused by Kendall Knight, and kept it secret until now. We do not know the full extent of what was happening, but it was known something was happening by the way Jo's acting ability - or lack of - while trying to film another episode of the programme. Are the rumours true? Has Kendall Knight been abusing Jo Taylor? _

_We will be keeping you updated on the news_

_This is Hayley Jones reporting_

The sound of something shattering brought James' attention from the TV, only to find Katie staring at the screen shocked beyond belief. Her face was pale, a dishcloth clutched tightly in her hands

"Katie?" Logan spoke in a soft voice, edging towards Katie, who was still frozen to the spot, her mouth slowly opening and closing, gaping like a fish out of water

"That's a lie" Katie eventually spoke, hissing it out through gritted teeth. James flinched, the wound was still too fresh, for all of them.

It seemed like Mama Knight had been hit hard by the news, even though she was barely showing the effects. Logan had told them that it must have been because the news had not sunk into her mind that Kendall had done some horrible things, though as soon as Logan had spoken the words, Katie had practically snarled at Logan to cut him down to size. She was hiding something, but anger seemed to be her best friend while her brother was away, she used it very well. It was mostly snide remarks, but they still stung deeply

"Katie stop it" Mama Knight spoke in a sharp tone. James knew she was trying to be strong for everyone, just like Kendall would

"But-" Katie started to whine in a childish voice, her large brown eyes wide and innocent. That one look would have made anyone crumble, except one very brave woman, who just happened to be Mama Knight, one stern looking woman who was walking on broken glass. She was on breaking point, one small thing could send her over the edge

James didn't need to be as smart as Logan to figure that one out, it was easily obvious because of how Mama Knight was acting. Her hands were always doing something, to distract herself from the news of her son abusing a girl right under her nose. She tended to hum a tune out of tune, but it seemed to sooth her, or put her nerves at ease, James didn't exactly know which one it was, but he left her alone, letting her deal with it her own way

"No Katie" James jumped into the conversation before Katie caused her mother to have a mental breakdown, no one wanted to see that. Mama Knight, who was usually so cool under pressure, never had a breakdown - to James' knowledge -

"You guys still believe Kendall's guilty" Katie whispered icily, raising up from the sofa to look like a small lioness confronting a threat. They were the threat, and Katie was only trying to protect Kendall's innocence

"You heard the police" Mama Knight spoke, wiping down a plate with a cloth, clutching it in a tight grip, her knuckles white with the strain "the evidence is against Kendall, and Jo would never lie to anyone"

"She's got everyone under her thumb" Katie muttered, but it got ignored by Mama Knight, who almost smashed the plate by slamming it back down on the countertop with anger. She twirled around to face her daughter, brown eyes wild

"Stop it now Katie" Mama Knight used her most strict voice anyone has heard her use, James took a step back his long legs slamming into the table in the middle of the room. Katie whimpered, hitting James' chest because she took steps back

* * *

Kendall's p.o.v

The object that had once been thrown on Kendall's head was rather violently yanked off from around his head, leaving him dazed and confused, his vision too blurred for anything to make sense. The bright white walls were too bright, Kendall had to squint against it, looking at the scenery with half lidded eyes

"This is your new home, brat" someone spoke, throwing Kendall hard against a wooden chair that refused to slightly rock with the weight. It seemed to be nailed down, something Kendall did not like. It felt horrible, splinters of wood digging into his back the more these stupid people seemed to push him harder into the chair. Kendall shouted in pain when something pinched his skin hard, pulling the hairs on his arm

"S-Stop, what a-are you doing?" Kendall stuttered, trying to pull his arm back, but it refused to move, trapped against something strong that refused to let him go. He didn't brave another look, because the room suddenly went pitched black, the only light was from a pathetic single bulb hanging from a piece of wire. Kendall pulled back away from the face that stared down at him, their glasses glinting too brightly for Kendall to see his eyes

Lucky for him, because the man's eyes were filled with inhumane amount of sadistic pleasure, watching Kendall squirm in the chair holding him

"This place is not like how they say" the doctors voice was deep, almost gruff when he talked, looking right in Kendall's direction "its meant to be happy, helping with turning people back to normal, not going back to abusing their partner. But when you come inside, its different" a sick, sadistic smile slithered onto his face as he spoke about his job. The way he spoke about it was creepy

"How is it different?" Kendall asked, but soon he snapped his jaw closed as the man leaned closer to him, glasses gleaming brightly, the smile still on his face

"We don't do anything like they say we do" the doctor snarled, signaling someone behind Kendall with a small nod of his head "this place is going to be your worse nightmare. We will put you through everything your partner went through when you abused them" Kendall felt a small pricking sensation, hissing with the pain and trying to inch back away from it, the effects started, the heaviness in his arms disappearing, brought on by another wave of heaviness that weighed down his whole body to the floor.

There was a dark laugh that echoed around inside Kendall's head, dark, without any sort of humour

As Kendall gave up the fight against the blackness

* * *

Disclaimer: Oh I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Once again, I'm so sorry about not updating as much as I could

The next story I will be updating is A Different Life :)

Love DoomedPhsyx2030


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